Deep down I’ve always wanted to be able to sing, but I’m not good at it, not good at all! Last night I went for my first ever singing lesson (check out the video of me singing on my instagram page – @thenakedprofessor), it was always going to be challenging standing in front of a stranger exposing my weakness, I felt uncomfortable & unconfident. 7 years ago, my mind / ego wouldn’t allow me do it, not a chance, I was too bad & too embarrassed to try, it was too far out of my comfort zone.
As cheesy as it sounds, I have always had this crazy dream to sing on my wedding day, but I haven’t ever worked at becoming better at it. So what’s stopped me from trying? Firstly, I was embarrassed because I’m not very good at it & I was scared of judgement (our ego will always seek to avoid embarrassment). Secondly, society didn’t show me that singing fitted in with my perception of who I thought I was meant to be (our ego seeks validation). However, there is a counter argument that trumps these – my soul wants to be creative, to express itself & to playfully try, regardless of judgement. It’s this I’m choosing to listen to.
I wasn’t particularly comfortable singing in front of someone else. If I think about it & let my ego kick in, I’m definitely not very comfortable with sharing it with anyone. But, I’m no longer keen on judging myself so I’ve barely watched this video back & I’m happy for those people who want to judge to go right ahead. I’m very comfortable that their judgement won’t be serving them positively in their own life. I know I’m no good at singing, but I’d like to get better, I won’t get better unless I show up & try.
It takes bravery to live beyond embarrassment, it takes bravery to get out of our comfort zone, it takes bravery to do something you’re not good at, so we have to be vulnerable to go there. I want to live a wholehearted life with good mental health, that means I have to start listening to my soul’s cries for creativity & to show up in response. Here comes the key message…continued below (or sign up to my website to read in full):
I now try to live in a way whereby if bravery is required, (because I am trying to do something that faces rejection or embarrassment), then bravery is what I look to install. There are three things that I’d like to be able to express better that require me to get uncomfortable. One is singing (It’s happening, don’t you know it!), another is golf (I’ve played for a while but recently had my first lesson), and the other is probably the toughest of all for me – dance, help required!!
When we live more in tune with our soul & become less governed by our ego, we can express ourselves without fear of judgement. It’s liberating, it’s powerful, it allows us to try, fail & live more wholeheartedly. You want to feel good? Then don’t live in that common place inside your ego’s prison – you’ll look safe / good but feel empty, I’ve been there, it’s unfulfilling. None of us are perfect, that’s our ego’s wish, but our soul isn’t worried about perfection or judgement, it just wants to show up & try.
So, the key point with regard to our mental health is that many of us live a life closely wrapped in our comfort zone, ticking boxes that keep us safe & pleasing our ego, but we are left empty on the inside. In short, we have let our ego overpower our souls desire to creatively express itself, love, share & connect deeply. My ego is being severely tested in learning to sing, dance, improve my golf, love and all sorts of other things, but my soul is becoming more alive every day I try. When we are brave enough to get out of our comfort zone, we realise how uncomfortable it was in the first place.
Lastly, for those of you worried about the cost of learning something new, look at where you are spending currently & see if that is serving you to be more of the person you’d really like to be. Look to move further away from instant gratification fixes & more towards creative, deeply fulfilling, purposeful living. Choose to save money on things that give you quick wins but don’t serve you more deeply. Instead invest in yourself & areas you’d like to improve in tune with your deepest values, you really can’t spend your money in a better way.
In fact, I have one more thing to add to this! It’s important that I say that it’s living in this wholehearted way that will lead to a lot of embarrassment, failure & awkwardness, but it’s also the place that will open the doors to finding your dream partner, dream life & a feeling of deep fulfilment within. You’ll be very very fortunate to get any of these things if you’re not prepared to live vulnerably. That’s why I’m here sharing this, I’d love to see more people remove their mask that keeps them looking cool, & instead see people embrace their truth, free from judgement. Who do you really want to be when you’re not letting the world (including you) judge you? Be brave, be vulnerable, there’s so much more to life living this way.
If you’re interested to get out of your comfort zone in an effort to grow, get in touch about joining me at The Reset Retreat, Ibiza this October.