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Ben Bidwell

Ben Bidwell

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@thenakedprofessor

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Judgement = he’s a bad person, he needs therapy,

Judgement = he’s a bad person, he needs therapy, he needs to learn to take a joke, he’s a bad man, he did the right thing, he’s a hero for standing up for his wife, he’s a real man, he’s a weak man, he should be punished, he should be celebrated, etc, etc. Compassion = who knows what’s going on in his life right now. Who knows what he’s been through before this event, both personally and with his partner. Who knows how much pain Jada feels when she is mocked or joked at around this subject, or what she’s been through on it in the past. Who knows what other challenges and emotions were alive within them for things outside of their control before or during the event. Who even knows if this was staged or not 🤷🏻‍♂️. Violence is never the answer regardless of the situation, & Will Smith will know this. It’s not ok to make violent mistakes, I agree, but before we make things right or wrong, good or bad, let’s also accept that we don’t know what we don’t know. When we acknowledge that, we open the doors to more compassion. Of course we will naturally have our opinions, but before we offer them, can we also acknowledge & understand that we don’t know the story behind the behaviour. That goes for Will Smith, or any other person, or any other area of life. We don’t know what we don’t know. A healthier world is one where there is more compassion & less judgement. Judgement divides us, compassion unites us. I’m not here to judge anyone who is judging, I’m just here to invite the possibility of more compassion into this world 🤗. What are your thoughts, does this resonate at all? How are you feeling about this? 🙏🏼❤️

I spent a lot of my life trying to avoid being cal

I spent a lot of my life trying to avoid being called or thought of as a mummy’s boy. It was a term that I associated with being weak. More concerned with how I was perceived than letting my truth be seen & felt, I had a period where I tried to switch off my love, I thought it wasn’t cool. In other words, I wasn’t strong enough to be me, because I was scared the real me wouldn’t be accepted. I’m glad I came through that period & let go of playing it cool. As @brenebrown says, playing it cool is an emotional straight jacket - we are trying to be who we think we should be, not who we really are. I’m very clear now.
Who I really am is someone who is full of love & kindness, especially for my dear Mum. She gives so much to me, from listening to how my day was, to putting up with my teasing, to offering so much kindness, love, support & both helpful & unhelpful advice. Hey, let’s be honest, Mum’s don’t know it all 😉. I’m happy that I let go of the emotional straight jacket & learned how to celebrate & share with my Mum quite how much she means to me 🙏🏼. Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mum’s out there. To those of you missing your Mum’s today, I promise to honour them by continuing to appreciate, love & cherish mine 🙏🏼❤️

A stream of rambling thoughts, from a beautiful, q

A stream of rambling thoughts, from a beautiful, quiet, sunny sunday:
*these are merely thoughts. They naturally come & go, some I give more attention & energy to than others 🕺🏼😉. I love spending time with my parents, lots of time, especially time when there’s silence filled by moments of simple, silly connection. Is it weird to enjoy hanging out with my parents at my age? Do I care if it is weird?🤔💁🏻‍♂️. I love being by the sea, it’s so expansive, calm & peaceful, yet so powerful too. I’m so drawn to the sound of fresh water, the crashing waves, the trickle of a flourishing stream. I wonder if all humans are? I might Google that 🧐. I love music. I love the emotions it stirs. I love sharing my favourite songs with someone who matters to me. I really hope they like them too, I really do. Is that weird? Screw weird, I love being weird. I think we’re all weird. If we find our freedom🥳. I love being in the peace away from London. Life is quiet, I’m not spending much time with other people. Some may think that’s weird, I like it. Maybe I’m anti-social. Maybe I’m anti-BS. Or maybe I’m just happy in my own company😇. The more I think about it, the happier I am that I found my weird. I conformed for too long 🕺🏼. The more I think about it, the more I realise how much I love finding & connecting with the weird in others. It’s what makes them beautiful beyond surface level connection❤️. Life is better when I live true to what I value. Life feels good right now. I’m very fortunate. I’m happy, I’m grateful, I’m weird. I’m going to have an early night tonight. I love early nights ☺️. Happy Sunday 🙏🏼❤️

I’ve had a few conversations with beautiful peop

I’ve had a few conversations with beautiful people about the state of the world over the last few days. A sense of helplessness has been a common theme between us. When I sink into that, I keep reaching the same place. That my lack of gratitude for the safety & freedom that I have in my life is the ultimate disrespect to those who aren’t blessed with the same fundamentals. So it’s very clear, I owe it to those who are less fortunate than me, to fully appreciate what I have. I believe we all do. When we recognise our own good fortune, we open the doors to compassion & kindness, two of the greatest healers out there🙏🏼❤️.

There’s a lot to process at the moment, isn’t

There’s a lot to process at the moment, isn’t there? Over the last few days I’ve had a number of conversations about the challenges going on in the world, & how we feel as a result. My truth is, I don’t know what to say & what to do. I express my pain around what’s going on, & then I feel an element of guilt because I’m fine, better than fine, incredibly fortunate in fact. So who am I to worry about what to say or do, when I’m not the one actually facing the problems? I guess there’s just a natural desire to be empathetic, to care, to want peace & fairness for the world. But I know so little, do I really know what’s fair & what’s not? So I try to stay in my lane, & focus on what I can control, until a voice questions whether I’m being selfish & tells me I should be going beyond myself & doing more to try to help in some way. A sense of guilt comes up, & then another question arises, should I be showing up more about all the other challenges that exist in the world? There’s so much pain & destruction that doesn’t get spoken of in the same way. Shouldn’t we be caring & taking action around that too? Then I notice guilt for writing about what’s coming up for me, because, well who cares, & I become lost as to what to do or say once again. A voice reminds me, “it’s not about you Ben.” I guess what I’m trying to say, is I feel helpless & wish things were different. There’s some acceptance in that. I know it’s a cliche, but I just wish that there could be more love & less greed. Always & everywhere. That’s where I’m at, I think. What’s present for you right now? With love to all ❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos

@brenebrown tells us that the number one fear men

@brenebrown tells us that the number one fear men carry is that of appearing weak. That resonates deeply with me, I spent a long period of my life trying my best to hide what I unconsciously thought might be perceived as a weakness. It led me to put a mask on and to live outside of who I truly was. It stopped me from being free. My journey to finding more freedom has been about recognising who I truly am & letting go to the stories I created about who I should be, so that I can simply be me. I’m so glad I reconnected to my softness. Integrating that alongside my strength, has allowed me to be all of who I am. With everything going on in the world I hope we see more of the magic of the feminine energy leading us in the future. This world doesn’t need more greed or competition, it requires more connection & unity❤️.

I want to connect with you. I want to go on a jou

I want to connect with you. I want to go on a journey with you, not to change you, but to bring more to your life. I want to help you find more freedom within yourself to feel, express, love & create. I want you to experience more confidence, more alignment, more integrity, & with that, more purpose. I want you to feel more alive, by letting go of your fears, so that you live with more freedom & more power. I want you to experience a more deeply nourishing life experience, one that doesn’t need you to chase any longer, because you’ve learned to fulfil yourself internally. I want to release you to give more love to those who matter, & to allow more love in, so that your heart can feel what it truly desires. I want to empower you to break free from who you think you should be, so that you can be who you were born to be. I want you to experience the power of true presence & vulnerability, they can bring you so much. Selling doesn’t come naturally to me, it’s something I’m working on. But I know what I offer is powerful, the people I work with are very clear to let me know. I want to step-up & share more of my work, it’s unique, it comes from my heart. So work with me, because I can open you up, just like I opened up myself. Let me help you find more in your life, just like I found more within my own. Join me on my online programme “Find Your Freedom”, either 1-2-1 for a personalised journey, or in a group programme to learn, connect & grow alongside beautiful, like minded people. I have a few early bird offers available now for those who are ready to join my group programme starting in March. Please email me or find more info in the link in my bio to start a magical, heart opening, journey with me ❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

My goal in life is to love as fully & as powerfull

My goal in life is to love as fully & as powerfully as I can. The journey I’ve been on has been to get out of my own way by letting go of the stories that led me to choose fear in its many forms, over the magic & freedom of love. It’s meant leaning into curiosity over judgement, gratitude over ambition, connection over protection, & showing up over hiding away. Today is a day to remind ourselves to love passionately, to give unconditionally & to create fearlessly & without agenda. That’s love, that’s the energy that makes us feel alive ❤️ Ps - I’m going to do an Insta live this evening at 8pm. No real agenda other than an open Q&A and a chance to share and connect with one another on what feels like a sensitive day. I’d absolutely love to connect with you any of you who’d like to be there with me ❤️.

The buildings loom large in my home city. I’d lo

The buildings loom large in my home city. I’d love to look far into a distant sunset, but it’s walls that I see. The energy is compelling; do more, go fast, don’t stop. Before the sun has risen, we are already at it. There’s no time to rest, mustn’t fall behind. There are many connections, but so much resentment too. So many people, yet so much loneliness. I find many questions in the city, but it’s hard to find answers. It takes up space & tires me out. The time arrived for me to explore a different land. Here is a place where I can see as far as nature allows. The pace is slow, people relax & smile, patience is a thing. The terrain is more natural & rugged. I see rocks & mountains, it takes me back to how it all once was, rustic, authentic, magical. Doors are left unlocked, time is more bountiful, there’s more love & trust in thy neighbour. I like this environment, I can find space out here. Space to listen & ponder, to slow & wonder. I feel the energy of the environment I live in, it matters that we fit one another. Soon I’ll return to London, peaceful & open to what’s next. I want my home to be a place where my heart feels truly aligned 🙏🏼❤️. 📸 @theauthenticman_

I can do my best to present myself as strong & fit

I can do my best to present myself as strong & fit, but if my mind is unconsciously leading me to compare myself to others, they’ll always be someone better. I can try to look good & attract a romantic partner, but if my mind isn’t open & I’m not aware of my inner world, how far can my love actually go? I can be hugely ambitious & get pats on the back for my achievements, but unless I learn how to truly lean into the present moment, what does my ambition count for? I can be great in lots of people’s eyes, but if I’m not trying to be my own hero, then I’ll struggle to feel love for myself & I know how empty that can leave us feeling. I can educate myself about politics, finance, & culture all I want, but unless I learn how to feel my emotions, how deeply can all the education serve me? I can laugh & joke in front of others, but unless I have a healthy relationship with the soul reflecting back at me in the mirror, then how happy will I ever really be? I’m intrigued to hear your opinion, what do you think, do you agree with my sentiments above? 🙏🏼❤️
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

Ive put my energy into trying to live both of the

Ive put my energy into trying to live both of the ways above. One gave me validation, comfort, slaps on the back, & some happy times. But also a lack of freedom & an emptiness within. Something was missing, I didn’t know what. The other led to people questioning if I was having a breakdown, judgement, rejection & uncertainty. But also a sense of inner alignment, purpose & a deeper fulfilment within. We live in a world that teaches us to tick boxes ahead of nourishing our soul, to choose instant gratification above deep fulfilment, and to close our heart’s rather than express our love. I’ve learned to choose my heart. It’s not the easiest path in the short term, but it’s the most deeply rewarding one in the long term 🙏🏼❤️

The most challenging fear for me to overcome is th

The most challenging fear for me to overcome is the one that says I’m not good enough. It’s a story I started telling myself from as young as I can remember. My unconscious response was to avoid the majority of things that brought up the possibility of failure. As a teenager that meant avoiding things like getting rejected, dancing, doing things I wasn’t perceived to be good at, or anything where I could make a fool out of myself. I stayed safe but I wasn’t free to go after what mattered to me. I predominantly stayed that way through my 20’s, unless I was drunk & then I felt a little braver / had more emotional freedom. Playing it safe meant I experienced little growth & a lack of spontaneity. My personal development work & a maturing mind has allowed me to learn many things; that I am of value, that it’s ok to love myself, that I am not the voice in my head, that everyone is scared that they aren’t good enough in some capacity, & that life is more meaningful when we show up for what matters most to us, even if it’s scares us. That’s a much more liberated way of living. So I can’t say I’m cured of my fear of not being good enough, it’s a wound that I manage rather than one that can simply be destroyed. But freedom for me lives in giving myself the choice of whether or not to obey my fear, or whether I feel the fear & do it anyway. What fears restrict your freedom to go after what it is that you seek most deeply? 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

I feel a lot. I feel the sorrow of sadness & the

I feel a lot. I feel the sorrow of sadness & the heartache of loss, but also the beauty of love & the aliveness of curiosity. If I deny one, I deny them all, it’s why I am content to allow for my pain. I can’t lie, in some ways life was easier when I buried my emotions. There was less judgement, less highs & lows, more perceived stability, & as a man who lived “dead inside”, a part of me felt more empowered & widely accepted. It helped me present an imagine of being “cool” & I’d say it helped me attract women. Many seemed to be drawn towards what was aloof. It also made me easier to be with in some ways, I wasn’t intrusive into their inner world. It meant I couldn’t give depth to a relationship but it also meant they didn’t need to show up for their emotions either, that is comforting for some. But for all the looking cool, attracting women, fitting in & presenting good vibes, there was also a numbness & a sense of emptiness, like something was missing. And that’s no surprise, as there was a lot missing, I had disconnected with a huge part of myself! Our emotions matter. Feeling & owning them brings so much more to life. Sure it can be scary, but it also allows for more freedom, deep connection, & authenticity. We can play it safe & block out what scares us deep down, or we can be brave & allow for a fuller existence. I’ve grown to love my sensitivity & the freedom to express it all. I’d love to live in a world where emotions were welcomed so that we could manage our inner world in a way that served us more deeply❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

I feel like I’m writing this largely for my own

I feel like I’m writing this largely for my own purpose, I need to hear & remember my thoughts below as much as anyone. Here goes: Opinions are understandably strong across the world right now. There’s division, & people are being impacted & challenged in different ways. At the same time, contrasting information is being consumed from opposing sources, whilst we all store traumas that impact our perspective on life. It’s inevitable that we are going to have different opinions. To add fire to the smoke, so many discussions take place from keyboards & across screens. It means we lack empathy for one another that would naturally arise during face to face connections. Many of the things that get shared these days, aren’t said but typed without compassion for other people’s personal experience. It’s leading us to a more disconnected world with perceptions of them & us. But different opinions don’t need to be shared as good & bad, right & wrong. Different opinions don’t need to lead us to dislike the person next to us. Never before have we needed to feel into compassion more. Compassion because it’s natural for people to see things differently depending on how they’ve learned to see & experience the world. With compassion we can lean into respectfully differing, whilst still holding love for one another. Somewhere within us all, there is a heart that is desperate to love. With understanding, we can be passionate & express our truth, but also listen with an open mind that doesn’t need the validation of enforcing our own opinion. If we seek a world where everyone agree’s with one another, we’ll live an uncomfortable existence. On the contrary, some of the most interesting conversations I have are with those who see the world differently to me & who express their perspective with an open mind, kindness & love. I write all of this to remind myself that it’s love & respect that unites us, even when we inevitably share different opinions ❤️.

This year, how about focusing your energy on how y

This year, how about focusing your energy on how you show up & who you become in doing so, instead of what you achieve? Because your attitude will have a bigger impact on what you do, than making goals that don’t align with how you show up in the first place ❤️. If you had to add one more attitude to the list for this year, what would it be? ☺️

Apparently it was world introvert day yesterday, I

Apparently it was world introvert day yesterday, I wanted to share. I’ve been introverted for as long as I can remember, although the Leo in me means I have extroverted tendencies too. There’s a desire to be understood & valued by those who matter to me. That means I’m most naturally at home introspecting & in small social circles, but im also expressive & animated when in an environment that I feel comfortable in. I used to hate being introverted, society taught me that the loudest person was the most dominant, powerful one. Things my ego craved. But as I’ve learned to quieten my ego, I’ve found more peace in who I am, & I’ve come to love the introverted nature within myself & those I meet. You see, with introversion often comes a deep sense of loyalty, a curious attentive nature, kindness & sensitivity. Qualities that can make others feel at ease. I’ve also learned that I can be introverted & still have the freedom to express myself. I can feel into my introversion but still stand on stage & perform talks that inspire. I can be introverted, but it doesn’t need to limit me or hold me back. So to all the introverts out there (& I sense there may be a few of you here 😉), I see you. Your energy is a gift that empowers others, & with inner strength & strong boundaries, your introversion is a beautiful, powerful thing ❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

And so another year passes by just like that, & a

And so another year passes by just like that, & a new year arrives, a natural time to reevaluate. This is what I seek for 2022: The fashionable thing would be to write about what I aim to do, what goals I aim to smash. But my goals aren’t about what I want to achieve, instead, it’s about who I aim to be. Because who I am dedicated to being will determine what I do, without placing my worth on the end results. So I seek to be more present with people who matter to me. That means time spent in the energy of the heart; open, curious & without judgement. I seek to create time alone, recharging, feeling, learning & growing. I seek to prioritise & express my deepest truth. Predominately choosing what matters most to me, ahead of what I desire now. I seek to express my fears & exuberant joy, & everything in between without labelling it good or bad, just what is true. That’s freedom & it will provide space for others to do the same with me, & that for me is intimacy. And I seek to embrace & offer my learnings through my mentorship programme for those who wish to go on a journey of finding more freedom in their lives. So ultimately what I seek for 2022 is to show up beyond the fears that stop me from going after what I desire most deeply. I know that will involve love, curiosity, compassion & presence, because they are what are naturally true when fear doesn’t try to take us away. So rather than goal setting, consider who do you aim to be in 2022? Then connect with what you can do to be that person? With much love & wishing you a happy new year, Ben ❤️
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

Merry Christmas beautiful people ❤️

Merry Christmas beautiful people ❤️

I completed my group mentorship programme “Find

I completed my group mentorship programme “Find Your Freedom” last night. At the end of the session I had tears in my eyes, there was overwhelming emotion as we moved with presence to our final song together. I’m not sure what it was, perhaps there was some sadness around letting go, a saying goodbye to the group & other people in my life. But also the words from the song hit me hard, “you can do anything” it said. I felt that. A part of me wanted to wipe away the tears, hide them from the group, but the work on the programme was all about going beyond that voice. On this programme there has been a letting go of judgement & embracing what lies within. I encourage all to feel their emotions, but not to be defined by their emotions. There’s freedom in that, don’t hide yourself away Ben. So the programme came to an emotional end, & now my ego starts to tell me what I could have done better. But that’s ok, we know how to deal with that 😉. Inside my heart there’s a pride & satisfaction that I showed up & expressed my learnings & the emotions that sat within me. To do that with a group of determined, beautiful souls, all eager to feel their heart’s more deeply, was a treat for me. I love my job. So it was a beautiful Christmas present to give myself, I feel proud, & also excited to share this experience again early next year. Having shared this work it’s never been clearer, there’s more emotional freedom within us all, we just have to learn how to allow it. It’s hard work, but it’s even harder if we don’t go there. With the end of the programme I have more space to be again. Next year is a big one, I’m learning & growing all the time, I’m excited to see what unravels from here. So with that I send lots of pre Christmas love & togetherness (I feel we need it), Ben ❤️.
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📸 - @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

They say that a great way to move into a powerful

They say that a great way to move into a powerful state of being is to do something that is bigger than you. Our mind loves to analyse & make sense of the challenges we face, & with that we can get lost in our own drama. But when we stop & immerse ourselves into something that is bigger than us, we quieten the inner chatter. Naturally peace arrives as we bathe in the presence of doing something significant. I’ve had a hectic time recently, my mind has been busy, I’ve been wrapped up in me. There have been stresses & loneliness as I challenge myself to go beyond my comfort zone in different areas of my life. In amongst all the busyness a message arrived from my friend Wes. It was the same message I receive from him ever year, a dreaded one asking if I would like be part of his annual “budgy smuggler” run & Christmas carol sing song. A freezing cold experience through the busy streets of Kensington & Chelsea. I’ve been part of the run before, first & foremost it’s a brilliant charity. Wes lost his cousin Peter to a freak accident whilst socialising with friends a few years ago. This charity was created to raise money for the many carers who provide unpaid assistance to family & friends unable to cope on their own. Had he survived, Peter would have needed permanent help himself. I initially said no to the invitation to don the budgies. Life was too busy, or so I perceived. But as the day approached I knew this was something that would fill up my heart. I dressed myself for the occasion 😏 & participated in something that is way bigger than the story in my head of my own self importance. So (last Saturday) we ditched our clothes & off we jogged 😱. It bought smiles to people’s faces (as well as a few looks of dismay 😳), but most importantly money was raised for a heartfelt cause. Wes always had the vision of closing the charity when he had raised £250,000, that mission is complete now. I was honoured to be a small part of it 🙏🏼❤️ #pwmt @pwmt_charity

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