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Ben Bidwell

Ben Bidwell

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@thenakedprofessor

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Ad. One of the key behavioural changes I made in m

Ad. One of the key behavioural changes I made in my life was to do more things that made me feel proud of myself at a deeper level.

During that journey it’s become very clear to me that we, as a society, need to reconnect back to character traits that are innately true for us.

Human traits that involve being kind to one another and having a healthy sense of community. With our constant exposure to dopamine hits, I see a society that has forgotten what nourishes us at a human level.

This is one of the reasons why I’m so passionate to continue to support @britishtransportpolice powerful and important #activebystander campaign to bring a sense of community back into our hearts, and to help one another on the train by practising the following:

* Report anything that makes you feel uncomfortable to make the railways safer for everyone
* To contact British Transport Police, download the Railway Guardian app or text 61016
* Interrupt to create a distraction by asking a question or offering your seat
* Stand next to or speak to the victim to show support. Ask if they are ok
* Be the first to act – others may join you #SafestTogether #DownloadRailwayGuardian #speakupinterrupt

I recently started to see that I was trying to fix

I recently started to see that I was trying to fix someone close to me, because I was feeling their pain, and, as a result, struggling to relax in their company. Despite being someone who is well aware that not everyone wants to be fixed, and sometimes we all just want to express our feelings - I’ve recently found it hard to practice it myself. This has led me to consider how innately programmed the masculine within us all is to want to fix the people we love, because it hurts us that they are hurting and we want to protect them. I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences: Do you often desire to fix or change the emotions of the people close to you, because you feel their pain?

“Cold is stressor, so if you are able to get int

“Cold is stressor, so if you are able to get into the cold and control your body’s response to it, you will be able to control stress.” @iceman_hof This Saturday (17th) I’m teaming up with @thehumanprogramme to combine breathwork and cold water therapy - two deeply powerful tools. This is a 90-minute workshop to empower you to enter into a liberated state where you step into your deeper potential. Come and join me @ahumanmovement and @olliefrostpt for growth, connection and a feeling of being deeply alive… Plus in this London weather, it will be warmer in the ice bath than it will be outside so come and get warm with us! 😉
Plus plus, sparkly silver outfits are more than welcome! ✨ Link to the event is in my bio and I’ll be adding a discount code in my stories 🙌🏼 I hope to see you this Saturday ❤️

Another way I could title this is, “Things I was

Another way I could title this is, “Things I was once clueless about”. When I lived in my head, life was so different. There was a lack of presence, a lack of stillness & authenticity, a never ending search for more, for lust, for validation. But we don’t have to be that way as a man. We can learn to go deeper into what matters from a different place. We can learn to connect to our heart’s and make conscious choices about how we show up. Perhaps there’s more to us all than we know, parts of us that we havent unlocked yet, the parts that connect us to a deeper sense of fulfilment. Perhaps our purpose doesn’t live in what we do, but who we be? Men - come and join me in Greece next year, I have plenty of women showing up to do their work, I’d love to see more men. Or work with me today, I have a 12 week human potential and breathwork programme that will change your life and the relationships you have.

My conditioning as a man taught me that it was wea

My conditioning as a man taught me that it was weak to feel emotion. In some respects that may have served me at times, but as I numbed I also blocked out joy and love too. So much of my inner work has been about learning to feel again. As this story explains, I still catch myself burying emotions at times, it’s an instinctive form of protection that isn’t easily relinquished. But my learnings allow me to notice the reactions that don’t serve me and from there I can make more conscious behavioural choices. Feeling my emotions may mean I’m judged by some, but that’s their story, I get to feel alive on the inside. I now have space on my 1-2-1 coaching programme, you can work with me to feel alive on the inside too. DM or email me for more information 🙏🏼❤️

#internationalmensday At times in my life I’ve

#internationalmensday At times in my life I’ve unconsciously embraced what would now be referred to as toxic behaviour. I’ve been disrespectful, overly competitive, numbed my emotions & acted from a place of pain. There are still moments today where I’ll catch myself slipping back into unhealthy behavioural patterns. I’ve grown, & continue to grow, but also know that perfection is a fallacy. But here’s the thing, whilst I’ve behaved selfishly & inappropriately at times, I have compassion for myself now I have an understanding of where that behaviour came from. I was born a kind & compassionate boy who wanted to love & be loved. I believe that’s the same for us all. We aren’t born toxic, & I’d go as far as to say that referring to masculinity as toxic, could be damaging in itself. What I see & experienced is toxic conditioning. That is, a patriarchal society that asks & teaches us to become something we aren’t. So on International Mens Day that is focusing on the importance of healthy male role models, I want to support the need for more healthy masculinity to be visible to today’s children. Something that wasn’t visible to me. I’d like to see more male role models expressing emotion & leading not from competition, but from a grounded kind place. I’d like to see more men who are clear on their heart’s purpose, whilst being able to recognise their ego’s conditioning & it’s unhelpful desires. And I’ll finish with this. Men need to take responsibility for our destructive behaviour that causes pain. However, we as a society, also need to look at what leads beautiful, kind boys to become closed, aggressive & shut off. That’s a toxic conditioning & that’s what hurts us all 🙏🏼❤️

Reframing self-care was a big part of my journey.

Reframing self-care was a big part of my journey. For a long time I made unconscious behavioural choices that may have given me short term hits of fun, but ultimately they didn’t serve me. As we learn who we truly are, as opposed to who we think we should be, we start to see what self care really is 🙏🏼❤️

Come and join me for what will be a special, life-

Come and join me for what will be a special, life-changing experience - that’s my promise ☺️ Early bird offer is available for a short period now, you’ll find more info in the link in my bio 🙏🏼🤗❤️

I wouldn’t have been able to grow, if I didn’t

I wouldn’t have been able to grow, if I didn’t surrender into what I was feeling. I know it’s not always easy, but find your people who can hold that trusted space for you, there’s great lessons and deeper connections when we allow our emotions to be felt and expressed 🙏🏼❤️

I want to see more men connected to and leading fr

I want to see more men connected to and leading from their hearts. Not only because it will give them a deeper sense of fulfilment and purpose, but also because it will make for a better world as a whole. Because, as it stands, I see a world that needs healthy male leadership. I still see too many bullies, too many leaders leading from and by fear. I still see men growing up being taught to be competitive at the expense of connection and self expressive. Men consuming rather than creating, men needing to win to be happy, men choosing money over their souls purpose. I see men achieving outer success but with inner pain. I see hurt people hurting people. This isn’t an attack on men, I believe every man is born connected to his heart. It’s a call for men to look deeper beyond western societies common way, a way that disconnects us to what matters. If you want to work with me to open up your connection to your heart more deeply, let’s talk (DM or email me)🙏🏼❤️ Ps - I’m going live today (Friday) at 1pm GMT with a man who inspires me so much, a man leading from his heart @lorinkrenn . Please join us if you want to explore this kind of conversation more deeply, especially around relationships.

I’ve had a heavy couple of days; some sad conver

I’ve had a heavy couple of days; some sad conversations with close friends & a deepening awareness of the state of the world, coupled with bad sleep & lots of screen time. I woke up with a full & stuffy head, so here I am (in the unflattering but authentic pic above!) taking a walk this early morning - I could feel that was what I needed. As I walked I looked at the autumnal trees & kicked the yellow & brown leaves. I sat down on a bench, looked across a pond & listened to some songs that filled me with beautiful emotion. As I strolled home, the cute squirrels awkwardly buzzed around me (whilst doing their morning yoga 🤷🏽‍♂️) & the rain felt refreshing as it reached my head. I can’t say it solved things, the world is still as it was, but I returned to a more present state, my natural home. Back home now, I’m sipping my cup of lemon tea, & reflecting with a fresher energy. I remind myself to surrender into the flow of life & with an open heart, lean into the times when things flow, as well as the more challenging moments. Im lucky, grateful & have hope in my heart. I notice that what keeps coming up in different areas of my life, is to witness & let go the impulsive reactions that don’t serve me. @yung_pueblo said it best “Your immediate reaction does not tell you who you are, it is how you decide to respond after the reaction that gives you real insight into how much you have grown. Your first reaction is your past, your intentional response is your present”. So as I start my Sunday I find myself writing these words shared above, “Be gentle & compassionate, especially to yourself. Find your strength to keep your boundaries protected, but always communicate with kindness beneath your words”. And I remind myself that I am at my best when I embrace all of life’s apparent contradictions 🙏🏼❤️

I feel disappointed to say it, but I don’t know

I feel disappointed to say it, but I don’t know that many good listeners. Some, but not many. I feel that’s heightened here on insta; the algorithm asks us to talk more & more, I find it relentless at times. But what comes up for me most strongly, alongside the irony that I’m now here doing the same thing 🙃, is that whilst the world continues to get noisier & noisier in many ways, what we really need is more people listening, truly listening. So I’m here, in a world that often rewards the ones that shout the loudest, to salute the ones who listen the best🙏🏼❤️ Ps - I’m conscious that one of the challenges that I continue to work through, is not feeling heard. With this awareness I can see that part of my desire to share around this subject comes from my own sensitivity on this. So, I’m intrigued, how does this sit with you, does it resonate, or do you feel quite the opposite? No right or wrong, everyone will have their own experience 🙏🏼

I don’t like the phrase mental health. I think

I don’t like the phrase mental health. I think we, as a society, have built up a negative perception around it. Who remembers the days when the word “mental” was thrown around as a fierce criticism? They weren’t that long ago… What if we understood it differently? What if we recognised that we all have a brain that is a highly complicated internal computer, heavily influenced by situations & experiences outside of our immediate control? What if we embodied a deeper understanding that the world isn’t a fair one & there are inequalities in our environments that unknowingly create virus like problems to our internal operating system. Viruses that unknowingly impact behaviour, taking humans away from who, at our heart, we long to be. What if we truly lived in a compassionate way that understood no one is immune to mental health challenges. However blessed an existence someone has been fortunate enough to live, western society still teaches us unhelpful values & unhelpful thinking patterns that can hinder how we feel, behave & experience life. Our brains are well overdue an upgrade to meet us in the modern world we live, but who is teaching us how? So however we view & understand “mental health”, I don’t believe any of us should be judged for internal challenges. Many who face internal battles want to be more human in a world that almost forces them to be more computer. I’d like to see a world that offers more freely available education on why we behave as we do, & to be given the tools to help return us back to being who we were born to be - as opposed to who we were taught to be. More compassion, more awareness, more help - less judgement. These are seemingly basic but important tools for a collectively healthier global mental health 🙏🏼❤️

I just had 9 days of largely being, not doing. 9 d

I just had 9 days of largely being, not doing. 9 days of nurturing meaningful relationships, with both myself & my person. We stopped, listened & embraced curiosity in both one another and the environment around us. We watched the sun set every evening, laughed, played & at times sat in silence. There were moments where we didn’t understand one another leading to temporary conflict, but out of those moments came growth & a deeper connection. At times the clouds rolled in & the wind got up, we became cold & uncomfortable. Just like the weather, things weren’t perfect all the time, except they were, perfectly imperfect, just how they were meant to be. And that’s it, there’s no other story to tell, just being, not doing. The world doesn’t always celebrate that as a story to tell, but for me and her, that was the only story that mattered at that time 🙏🏼❤️

She won’t be happy with pic 2 but I think it’s

She won’t be happy with pic 2 but I think it’s cute 😉. Doing the inner work isn’t easy, but when it opens you up to a better relationship with both yourself & the special people in your life, the pain & challenge all becomes worthwhile☺️. Relationships fill us up on the inside, it’s my intention to share more about them here. Maybe not through lots of funky videos, but old school pictures & sharing from my heart. I believe we can all find more depth & joy in our relationships through a deeper connection to love, I hope my sharing will bring this alive for you 🙏🏼❤️

What’s very clear to me is the more inner work I

What’s very clear to me is the more inner work I do, the more kind, self expressive & compassionate I become. In other words, the more I let go of my mind’s control, the more my heart opens, & the more characteristics of love come alive. Of course, there are still moments when triggers arise & I lose myself. But I can see those moments more clearly & gently return myself to a place of presence, where love resides again. For me the most deeply aligned people are the kind ones, the compassionate ones, the ones connected to the pure energy of their heart. I believe we all have big hearts that are longing to be heard, but I also know we live in a world that can be cruel & life can feel more safe with a closed & protected heart. So for me, the inner work is learning to let go of what keeps us unnecessarily safe. It’s deep work but worth it ❤️

I wasn’t shown how to express my emotions in a h

I wasn’t shown how to express my emotions in a healthy manner until I was into my thirties. Prior to that, they generally sat stagnant within my body, eventually coming out in a way that wasn’t aligned with who I wanted to be. In time I learned my best way forward was to numb them as much as possible. In doing so I became so disconnected that as a man in my twenties I was frequently told I was “dead inside”. Over the last 10 years + I’ve bashed pillows until tears were shed, verbalised my pain & shame in safe spaces where it’s been met without judgement, & found compassion where there was once anger, for both myself & others. I’m lucky to have found the spaces to finally release & let go. It’s not common in our society, but so badly needed. There’s so much magnificence in men, yet we are also responsible for so much destruction across the world. It’s time to let the destruction go & welcome the untamed man; a man of passionate integrity, presence, purpose & love. A man who is willing to do the inner work to return back to his deepest truth. On 24th September I’ll be working alongside a man & coach I respect deeply, @rick__cooper , to take men on a journey within to healthily express whatever lies stagnant. In doing so they will open the doors to more freedom, play, authenticity & love. Tickets are available in my bio. To give further insight into this, we’ll be discussing why men need to release anger & how they can do that in an Insta Live this Sunday evening, 7.30pm BST ❤️ 📷 @lawrenceprice_ 🙏🏼

The story that I began to tell myself as a child w

The story that I began to tell myself as a child was that if I wanted to thrive as a man I needed to be strong, tough, unemotional etc. Perhaps this is a story that may have shaped some of the men / boys that you know too… By the time I was in my twenties I had spent so long embodying the personality traits that I believed would help me thrive, that it felt to me as though they were my natural personality. It meant that up until the age of 30, I believed I was an unemotional man. On multiple occasions I was even told I was “dead inside”, comments I received not as derogatory, but as a badge of honour. Living out of alignment to who I truly am at my heart stopped me from being free - it’s heavy wearing a mask. It also stopped me creating depth in relationships & left me feeling like I wasn’t living to my purpose. Having gone on this journey, I’m fortunate that my work today is to help people understand themselves better, so that they can live with more inner freedom & have a better relationship with themselves & others. Challenging work, but it’s also deeply rewarding & liberating. If this resonates with you, please feel free to DM me. Thank you @theprivilegedman for providing the space for me to share 🙏🏼. Please listen the podcast if you’d like to hear more ❤️.

There’s no better investment, than investing in

There’s no better investment, than investing in yourself and meaningful experiences. Join me in Greece this October and your life will change forever 🙌🏼. Expect growth through education & awareness, emotional shifts through breathwork, play in clear ocean waters, and deep connections with beautiful people. Places will fill - join me now & I promise you an experience you won’t ever forget 🤗❤️

I’ve done a lot of things in my life to aid my p

I’ve done a lot of things in my life to aid my personal development; I’ve learned to sit with my emotions and not judge them as good or bad. I’ve learned to look to understand behaviour, not judge the person (including myself). I’ve learned to embrace what’s true for me, ahead of what’s expected of me. I’ve learned to choose what matters most deeply to me, ahead of what I seek now. I’ve learned to do all this & so much more, not because they are easy choices, but because ultimately they open up the doors for me to love more deeply. Both myself & others. Relationships are what feed our soul, they are what we remember when we reach the end. I want you to have the best relationship with yourself so that you can have the best relationships with others. Come & join me in Greece this October to be led deeper into your heart. If you book with me this week (before the end of Sunday 21st) you’ll receive a free gift; a one to one breathwork session with me that will show you what’s possible ❤️.

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