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Ben Bidwell

Ben Bidwell

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There is a contrasting narrative for men to naviga

There is a contrasting narrative for men to navigate: As society increasingly asks us to be more vulnerable, to share our feelings more, and to open our hearts, we also connect with an innate calling to stay grounded, to be the solid rock, an unshakeable presence our loved ones can lean on. The two can appear to be contrasting - how do we be a solid rock, whilst also open, vulnerable and emotional? The truth is both matter, and both are vital parts of healthy masculinity. The key isn’t choosing between strength and sensitivity - it’s developing the capacity and connection to know when each is needed. Sometimes, that means being the steady anchor when our family or loved ones require stability and grounded energy. Other times, it means letting ourselves feel deeply, be seen vulnerably and express what’s real. This is the mark of a modern man who understands that true strength isn’t locked in an iron grip, but also connected to a courage to be vulnerable. My work with men isn’t about removing their strength, but expanding their capacity to be all of what it is to be a man. This is the evolution of masculinity. Not harder or softer. But fuller, more complete, and more whole. I’m incredibly proud to run men’s groups for leaders ready to challenge their status quo and to grow with purpose. If you’re a man in a leadership role who wants to connect and expand with a network of men, spaces are now available. You can DM me here 🙏🏼❤️

When we see an aggressive dog, a part of us knows

When we see an aggressive dog, a part of us knows that beneath its defensive growls, lies a beautiful loving dog. And if we sit with that a bit more, we’ll probably start to wonder what must have happened to this beautiful dog for it to be so defensive? And yet I feel, we’ve either forgotten or lost belief that the same thing exists with humans too. Instead, we tend to be quick to judge and label each other as bad, wrong, etc etc. And by the way, I get it, a lot of behaviour can’t be justified, and it’s not ok. I agree. But can two things co-exist, 1) it’s not ok and 2) can we be curious about what’s happened to them to lead them to behave that way? That person who is angry and aggressive? Just like the dog, perhaps they’re protecting a heart that once felt some pain that’s still yet to be resolved? What if beneath every ‘difficult’ person lies someone who’s unconsciously trying their best to protect themselves from past pain? I have no doubt that we all have the capacity for love, to feel connection, and be deeply present. But first, we need to go within to see how we protect ourselves so we can do the “inner work” to finally let ourselves be loved again. What if, we collectively, embraced more curiosity about people’s story? About what lives underneath their behaviour? This is why I do this work - because helping people get to the root cause of their protective patterns so they can live beyond the stories that keep them being someone they aren’t, is quite simply, a beautiful honour🙏🏼❤️

Most of us grow up in a world that hasn’t taught

Most of us grow up in a world that hasn’t taught us how to feel. Me included! Instead, we learned to suppress, ignore, or judge our emotions, believing they’re potentially a hindrance. I learned the hard way - numbing myself to such a degree I felt like I lived in a box, neither happy nor sad, but often as though something was missing. Burying my anger didn’t make me calm - it made me lack boundaries and be more reactive, often in ways that left me out of alignment in who I really was. Burying my sadness didn’t make me happy - it left me numb, cutting me off from my capacity to connect deeply with myself and others. When led safely and powerfully, breathwork creates a space to feel what’s been stored in the body. This is why I’ve learned to utilise it as a central tool within my work. Through my 3-month ‘Becoming Present’ process, I guide you to reconnect with yourself using the daily practice of breathwork as your gateway, alongside weekly exercises and introspective coaching to allow you to expand beyond your limitations. I currently have 3 spots available for a short period. DM me ‘PRESENT’ to learn more about starting your journey. Or, if you want to learn to use breathwork as a powerful too then my breathwork training facilitation begin in April this year, early bird price is currently running for a short period. DM me “TRAINING” for further info 🙏🏼❤️

What makes me cringe, is also often a route into w

What makes me cringe, is also often a route into what can set me free. And the same can be said for you too. For years, I couldn’t tell my mum I loved her. Not because I didn’t - but because somewhere along the way, I learned that expressing any kind of emotion, especially “love”, made me feel “less of a man.” Now what I can see is that my cringe was a deep rooted internal protective mechanism that was trying to steer me away from what felt uncomfortable. But, as I became an adult it stopped protecting me, and increasingly restricted me. However, when I became curious enough to look within, i started to see that what makes me cringe could be a compass pointing me towards where I could grow. That first ‘I love you’ I expressed to my mum felt really uncomfortable to a part of me. But beneath the discomfort was freedom - because I was finally letting myself be real, rather than living in tune with my fears. So now I actively seek what makes me cringe. Because on the other side, I know lives lies more freedom. Our fears aren’t random.
They’re deep rooted ways of trying to protect us, that once served a purpose, but, over time, stop us from being free, authentic, purposeful, and connected. The question isn’t whether you have fears running the show. The question is: are you ready to see them? And do you want to work on them? Because if and when you do, you’ll find that what you’ve been avoiding isn’t nearly as scary or painful as the prison of living as someone you’re weren’t born to be. Want to explore what’s really holding you back? I use numerous technique’s, including the power of breathwork to help you become more present and expand your potential, so you live with more purpose and fulfillment 🙏🏼❤️

What makes me cringe, is also often a route into w

What makes me cringe, is also often a route into what can set me free. And the same can be said for you too. For years, I couldn’t tell my mum I loved her. Not because I didn’t - but because somewhere along the way, I learned that expressing any kind of emotion, especially “love”, made me feel “less of a man.” Now what I can see is that my cringe was a deep rooted internal protective mechanism that was trying to steer me away from what felt uncomfortable. But, as I became an adult it stopped protecting me, and increasingly restricted me. However, when I became curious enough to look within, i started to see that what makes me cringe could be a compass pointing me towards where I could grow. That first ‘I love you’ I expressed to my mum felt really uncomfortable to a part of me. But beneath the discomfort was freedom - because I was finally letting myself be real, rather than living in tune with my fears. So now I actively seek what makes me cringe. Because on the other side, I know lives lies more freedom. Our fears aren’t random.
They’re deep rooted ways of trying to protect us, that once served a purpose, but, over time, stop us from being free, authentic, purposeful, and connected. The question isn’t whether you have fears running the show. The question is: are you ready to see them? And do you want to work on them? Because if and when you do, you’ll find that what you’ve been avoiding isn’t nearly as scary or painful as the prison of living as someone you’re weren’t born to be. Want to explore what’s really holding you back? I use numerous technique’s, including the power of breathwork to help you become more present and expand your potential, so you live with more purpose and fulfillment. For a short period I have space for 1-2-1 clients, if you’re curious let’s chat 🙏🏼❤️

Change isn’t shallow work - it can’t be forced

Change isn’t shallow work - it can’t be forced through willpower, pushed through motivation, or thought into existence. We can set all the ambitious and non-ambitious goals, convinced that this time would be different. But if beneath your determination is an identity that doesn’t match your aspirations, then change / success in your resolutions will only ever be short-lived. How do I know? Join me tomorrow for my “New year, New me?” Workshop, where we’ll use breathwork to connect you to your true values and align you into an epic 2025. Or keep doing it your way, but just know your willpower will eventually break - exactly why research tells us 80-90% of new year resolutions are done by February! My breathwork-led workshop will explore this deeper approach to transformation. We’ll move beyond surface-level resolutions to actually set you up to create change that lasts. Limited spots remaining for tomorrow’s ‘New Year, New Me?’ Workshop - link in bio or check my stories to secure yours (or check out my stories) ❤️

When I first discovered breathwork through my dear

We’ve all been there - writing those New Year’

We’ve all been there - writing those New Year’s resolutions, feeling motivated, then, as January slips by, we see our intentions slowly fade away again.. But what if the problem isn’t your willpower or discipline? What if the real reason most resolutions fail is because change is being forced from the outside in? Forced from an identity that has a natural inclination to want to revert back to what feels like normal? Because if the new habits a part of us seeks, don’t feel natural, we’ll eventually run out of motivation to keep forcing, and revert back to our norm, and then label ourselves a failure. Lasting transformation doesn’t come from pushing harder or having more discipline. It comes from understanding what’s driving our patterns and listening to the parts of us that resist change. When we try to force change through motivation alone, we often create internal conflict. One part of us pushes forward while another part pulls back - and guess which part usually wins? But there’s another way. What if instead of trying to force yourself to change, you could align with your true values and let change flow naturally? What if instead of relying on motivation, you could tap into something deeper and more sustainable? I’m excited to connect you into this sustainable way of creating change in my online breathwork-led event “New Year, New Me?” on Sunday, January 12th, 5pm. We’ll explore how to:
- move beyond the cycle of motivation and failure
- connect with your authentic desires for change
- create lasting transformation through alignment rather than force If you’re tired of the same old resolution cycle, or this year you really do want to step forward into being who you want to be through a more effective path to change, grab your ticket from the link in my bio. What if change doesn’t come from pushing harder, but from breathing more deeply into your truth? 🙏🏼❤️

I’ve been working out consistently for 25 years!

I’ve been working out consistently for 25 years! 😬 And yet still today, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to go to the gym! A part that says “stay comfortable, put the TV on and relaxxxxx instead!” Because, put simply, my brain links gym = discomfort = unsafe. What keeps me going isn’t discipline - it’s a largely forgotten way of being… Science shows focusing on positive outcome emotions creates a “reward prediction” that pulls us towards action. Because, for me, the old adage is true: I never regret a workout once it’s done - and so deep down, exercising is something I find beneficial, and something I don’t want my minds fear of discomfort to interfere with! If I stay in the discomfort, I can talk myself out of going, if I stay true to who I want to be and how I want to feel, I hear something else… This works for everything that matters:
• Before skipping the gym - remember that post-workout energy
• Before avoiding meditation or stillness - connect with the mental clarity after
• Before postponing that difficult conversation - feel the future relief and connection it can bring
• Before choosing comfort - connect with the feeling of pride that comes with growth So one of the forgotten ways to create change is letting go of forcing yourself to start, because that won’t last long. Instead stay connected to how good it feels to finish, and let that be your compass. Join me this Sunday (12th Jan) for my online Breathwork led workshop “New Year, New Me?” where we’ll: • Use the power of breathwork to move beyond limiting beliefs
• Connect to your true values
• Get crystal clear on your 2025 direction Link in bio to reserve your spot - I’d love to share this powerful work with you and connect more deeply. Places are limited ❤️

The highs of 2024 have left me in awe of what’s

The highs of 2024 have left me in awe of what’s possible. The challenges have felt a necessary part of my ongoing journey. Some lessons have been new, some continue to ask for my attention, until I finally drop my resistance. Easier said than done. This hasn’t been a year of perfection or completion - more a year of preparation and evolution. A year of learning to sit with both my light and my shadows, of embodying a leadership that doesn’t ask to be flawless, but to be real. So 2024, thank you for every lesson, every breath, every truth revealed. To those who see me, support me, and challenge me - I’m grateful. As I enter 2025, I carry excitement. I have a vision that feels on purpose and grows in depth each day. To those who’ve already committed to joining my breathwork training in 2025 - I’m deeply honoured to guide you on what will be a beautiful journey of growth, practice and shared connection. This marks the beginning of something truly special for me, and I feel the privilege of that responsibility. Thank you for trusting in me. To my clients, past and present - thank you for trusting me with your stories, your vulnerabilities, and your growth. I continue to learn from you, as we grow and evolve together. I honour you and your commitment to your life. Compassion will remain at the heart of me and my work in 2025. Compassion for myself as I continue to grow, evolve, and work on the parts of me that still need work. And compassion for others who, I always aim to remember, are walking their own unique path, none better, none worse, all perfectly imperfect. And so for 2025 my intention is to serve and to breathe deeper into who I’m becoming, and who I want to be. To connect with those who bring meaningful connection, and to gracefully let go of what doesn’t align with my truth. With love and gratitude, wishing you a happy year end, and an exciting beginning into what’s possible ❤️

The festive season isn’t always filled with joy

The festive season isn’t always filled with joy and celebration. It can be a complex time of mixed emotions, unspoken pressures, and expectations that don’t align with how we truly feel. Perhaps you’re navigating complicated family dynamics. Maybe you’re exhausted from pretending to be more cheerful than you actually feel. Or maybe you’re feeling the weight of traditions that don’t resonate with who you’ve become. Whatever your experience, your feelings are valid. You don’t need to force joy or perform happiness to please others. You’re not ungrateful because you feel differently about this season. You’re not difficult for wanting to do things a different way. This time of year amplifies so much - both light and shadow - and it’s okay to experience it differently than others do. Whatever you need - more quiet, different traditions, or simply acknowledgment that this season is hard - that’s okay. You don’t need to change your feelings, but to honour what’s there for you. Merry Christmas and please remember, we’re all fighting battles within that often go unseen. Be gentle, be curious, be kind - to yourself and others. 🙏🏼❤️

Growing up I learned to protect myself by being cl

Growing up I learned to protect myself by being closed and shy. Not because I was shy, but because i learned subconsciously that it felt safer. If I stayed quiet, if I kept my true thoughts and feelings hidden, I was less likely to be judged in a world that I learned could be cruel. To a young version of me - one without the emotional intelligence to understand any deeper - this felt like protection. It wasn’t a conscious choice; it was survival. And I’m be certain you’ve done something similar, created a persona / a way of being that wasn’t really you, but one that felt safer. Maybe you’ve learned to overthink to avoid mistakes, to procrastinate because moving forward feels unsafe, or to control everything because chaos once hurt you deeply. These patterns aren’t weaknesses—they’re strategies. They’re what kept you safe when you didn’t know any better. But here’s the thing: what once protected often becomes the very thing that holds us back. The thing that stops us from being free, connected and authentic. When it comes to healing, it doesn’t mean rejecting these parts of ourselves. It means seeing them for what they truly are: echoes of a younger self, doing the best they could. Our wounds aren’t our fault. But our healing? As painful as that may be, can only be our responsibility - because no one else can change what’s within us but us. It takes courage to meet our parts with compassion and strength to reclaim the freedom they once cost us. But that’s where the transformation begins. Christmas is coming, I hope that feels safe and warm to you. Sending love to all ❤️ #HealingJourney #InnerChildHealing #SelfCompassion #EmotionalGrowth #PersonalTransformation #EmotionalHealing #TraumaAwareness #InnerWork #SelfLove #MentalHealthJourney #HealingTrauma #GrowthMindset #YouAreEnough

There was a time when I’d put my favourite exper

There was a time when I’d put my favourite experts and teachers on pedestals, thinking they must have it all figured out. And yet, I’ve heard each of the experts above speak about their ongoing struggles with the very things they teach. The more deeply I’ve sat with myself and the teachers I respect, the more I’ve seen that freedom and “perfection” don’t live in being perfect. They live in building a different relationship with our imperfections. None of us will ever have everything figured out. Jeez - we won’t even understand ourselves fully! But freedom, growth, authenticity come from a willingness to embrace our humanity, to dance with our challenges rather than fight and repress them. Because here’s the truth: we’re all beautifully messy humans, perfectly imperfect. The real struggle isn’t our messiness – it’s our resistance to it. When we shift from judgment to curiosity, from shame to compassion, from fear to love, we find a different kind of freedom. Not the freedom of knowing it all, but the freedom to simply be. If you’re interested to let go, expand your potential and welcome more freedom and fulfilment, DM me to connect 🙏🏼❤️ #personaldevelopment #authenticity #vulnerability #selfcompassion #emotionalintelligence #consciousness #innerwork #healing #masculinity #menswork #humanpotential #mindfulness #personalgrowth #selfdiscovery #transformation

We all learn to adapt our true selves early in lif

When someone we care about is hurting, many of us

When someone we care about is hurting, many of us (me definitely included) will feel that a part of us instinctively wants to “fix” their pain. Think about it - the majority of times you’ve found the bravery to share you’re feeling a little anxious, or sad, or upset, or anything else perceived “negative” - do the people around you sit and just listen, or do they try to change what you’re feeling by other words of advice, or ways to experience a different feeling? And yet, all we want to do is just feel what we feel, so we can just be ourselves, and not have to perform outside of how we’re feeling. When we’re met with someone giving us advise, or information to try and change that feeling - it doesn’t tend to sit well, we’re not looking for a solution (usually), we just want to be with what is true. Most of us havent done the inner work and learnt to sit with our own grief, anger, sadness, etc, and instead we judge it as “bad” or something to avoid, bury or hide - and so we naturally struggle to hold space and be present for others, when their “challenging” emotions surface too. Cultivating presence begins with creating our own emotional safety by learning to be ok with what we’re feeling ourselves first. Deep inner work! If this resonates with you and you feel called to go deeper... Join me in my 3 month “Becoming Present” programme. An incredible deep dive within, using the power of breathwork and advanced coaching tools. DM me for further info 🙏🏼❤️ #emotionalhealth #presence #healing #authenticity #mentalhealth #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness #personaldevelopment #mindfulness #healing” #humanpotential #becomingpresent #emotionalintelligence

Let me tell you what I think is crazy. That we ca

Let me tell you what I think is crazy. That we care more about doing, than we do feeling. Don’t get me wrong - I understand that we live in a world that celebrates us more for what we achieve, than how we feel. We can have endless moments of instant gratification and get all the pats on our back, but if we don’t feel on purpose, alive, fulfilled, by the choices we are making, life will remain one big chase. The thing that’s missing most in our world? Stillness. Stillness from a racing mind that’s programme to survive, not thrive. Stillness to actually listen to our feelings and what they are asking for us. Stillness from our reactionary behaviour so we can finally consciously response. Stillness from always doing, so we can finally tap into being again. Stillness matters because perhaps our busy minds are programmed to think being productive, is what keeps us feeling safe. Safe from feelings we’re not ready to feel. Safe from truths we’re not ready to face. Safe from a silence that leads us to questions we don’t want to answer, and places we don’t want to go. And so growth, expansion, breakthroughs often came not from doing more, but from daring to do less, and listen more. Because true peace isn’t found in emptying our never ending to-do lists, but in emptying our resistance to what is. In January I’m opening my books again to 1-2-1 clients to join me on my 3 month programme “Becoming Present”. An incredible journey involving daily breathwork practices, alongside deep introspective learning that will progressively dissolve what keeps you from being present, to take you into a place of stillness and inner aliveness. #presence #mindfulness #innerwork #consciousness #authenticity #personaldevelopment #selfawareness #mentalhealth #emotionalintelligence #mindfullife #breathwork #personalisation #selfhealing #selfdiscovery #humanpotential #stillness #presentmoment #innergrowth #mindsetshift #awarenessshift

This world teaches us to be masters in the art of

This world teaches us to be masters in the art of numbing, and running from what we feel. I often unconsciously reach for my phone through a moments boredom, or when uncomfortable feelings start to arise too close to the surface. Our unconscious desire to distract ourselves has become so natural in our world of constant consumption. And, of course, it feels good at times. In the distraction we may find peace, and even moments of happiness. Like muscle memory, our hands find screens, our minds find noise, our hearts dodge the depths - and we choose screens to stop feeling. But here’s the thing about growth; it doesn’t demand perfection. It asks us to notice. To catch ourselves in these moments of escape and gently acknowledge: “Ah, there I am, running again, what can I do differently?” The immediate goal isn’t to never numb – that adds more unrealistic pressure on our being. The goal is first to understand that occasional escape isn’t failure; it’s human. Especially in this world we live in. What matters is our willingness to notice and create an intention to gradually re-build our capacity to feel, and slowly learn the language beneath our shallow thinking again. Struggling to feel through a hardened practice of numbing? Let’s connect, it’s a journey I know well ❤️ #instapoetry #personalgrowth #poetrycommunity #healingjourney #igpoets #mindfulnessjourney #poetryofinstagram #selfawareness #writersofig #authenticliving #soulpoetry #emotionalhealing #poetryisnotdead #consciousliving #wordswithsoul

Deep down, we all want to experience deep, meaning

Deep down, we all want to experience deep, meaningful love. To feel seen, understood, and accepted for who we truly are. Yet we often find ourselves caught in behavioural patterns that unconsciously create blocks to intimacy, that end up hurting us. I speak from my own experience in saying that my capacity to love others, has been directly proportional to the level of understanding and love I’ve managed to create internally myself. Each layer of self-discovery, each old pattern released, each moment of genuine self-acceptance, have allowed me to deeper the connection I can create with others. And so, we often think love is something to find and go after, but what if it’s something we can cultivate and build within ourselves, and then, in turn, experience with others? A muscle we strengthen through learning how to feel deeply, to become present - even when it’s uncomfortable, to choose vulnerability when it would be easier to hide. I believe we’re all capable of experiencing the profound love we seek - and that journey begins within. Ready to explore the depths of what’s possible? Let’s connect, through the power of breathwork and introspective coaching, we can unlock more to you to experience more 🙏🏼❤️ #innerwork #love #consciousness #relationships #authenticity

Sensitivity can feel like a burden in a world that

Sensitivity can feel like a burden in a world that seems to celebrate other ways of being. A world where i’be been called “weird” for asking deeper questions when small talk is the norm. For feeling deeply in a world that usually feels more comfortable on the surface. But when I look around, I see the cost of ‘normal’ - the need to always be doing, the chase for more, the emptiness behind forced laughter, the loneliness in crowded rooms where everyone’s talking but nobody’s connecting. Yes, being sensitive means I feel the world’s pain more intensely. But it also means I experience joy more deeply, love more fully, and find meaning in moments others might miss. Sensitivity isn’t a weakness to overcome - it’s a gift that let’s us feel alive again. So the goal isn’t to ‘fix’ ourselves or to finally figure it all out. It’s to embrace our unique way of being in the world, messy and challenging as it might be. Because maybe what the world needs isn’t more people numbing themselves to fit in, but more people brave enough to feel deeply and live authentically. Do you ever feel like you’re ‘too much’ for this world?
Or perhaps, is this world sometimes too repressed for the humanness within you? #SensitiveSoul #EmotionalIntelligence #AuthenticLiving #DeepFeeling #SoulfulLiving #HSP #InnerGrowth #SelfAcceptance #EmbraceYourself #consciousliving #instapoet #instapoetry #instapoem

When it comes to Men and International Men’s Day

When it comes to Men and International Men’s Day, I sit with a complex truth. Yes, men hold many privileges. Yes, men are often at the centre of the world’s challenges. But I believe we also need to ask a deeper question - why? I’ll speak from my own experience; From boyhood, I was taught that success, power, and status is my path to thrive as a man. I chased them the best I could, only to find myself increasingly empty the more I appeared “fortunate” to consume. In the internal pain that created, I became someone I wasn’t, trapped in a cycle of consumption that was never going to truly fulfil me The hardest part is that along the way, my mind naturally became more and more closed in that way of living - so when I did become mature enough to make more aligned choices, it was incredibly hard to look beyond what I knew, or recognise my pain. So I sit in a space now where we need men to look at and take responsibility for our actions and the impact we have. However, we also deserve compassion for the path we were led down when we are too young to know better. The way society pushes us toward hollow pursuits while calling us weak for seeking genuine connection causes so much internal pain - again I speak from experience and can now see it clearly in so many others. No blame, no shame, but hope for change. Change begins with compassionate understanding, spaces where we don’t feel judged, but safe enough to explore. So for me, this is the paradox of modern masculinity - we must hold ourselves accountable for the disconnection / lack of alignment we feel within, whilst having compassion for the journey that took us here. #InternationalMensDay #MentalHealthAwareness #MensHealth #ManTalks #MensWellness #ModernMasculinity #MentalHealthMatters #ManKind #MensIssues #EmotionalIntelligence #MensHealing #MensSupportMen #MaleVulnerability #MensWork #menspoetry

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