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Ben Bidwell

Ben Bidwell

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@thenakedprofessor

Come & join me for updated information on.

If we are being really honest, how many of us meet

If we are being really honest, how many of us meet up with friends but leave feeling drained? It’s not the best feeling is it? The beautiful feeling of connection comes from being seen, heard & valued. I wanted to share some of the key aspects of what I look for in a good conversation that leaves me feeling connected: - A balanced flow of conversation. Like a tennis game, the chat goes back & forth between one another, both players playing approximately 50% of the shots & responding to each other accordingly in the flow of that moment. 1. Truly listening / being present & hearing each other words. This requires surrendering into the space, & listening not to respond, but to actually hear what they are saying, empowering your friend to feel seen & understood. 2. Don’t interrupt, let them finish. Sure you might have something to say, but let them finish first. Being cut off before you fully expressed yourself can be a source of frustration. (NB - at the same time try to be concise with your words so you don’t go on forever, that’s a note to myself FYI🙋🏻‍♂️!). 3. Be curious about who you’re with. Care, dig deep, ask them questions. If it matters to them & you’re in their company, then how about making it matter to you too. 4. When it comes to your turn to communication, be yourself. Your authentic voice matters, let yourself be seen, it’s here that people connect more fully with you. Remember that it’s possible to feel angry or disappointed, & still communicate your feelings with love & kindness. The key point is, pretending to be someone you’re not is a drain on your energy, wearing a mask is heavy. Of course there are times when these points aren’t applicable - if someone is deeply hurting then it might be all about them for example. But in general, I believe these are healthy templates for good conversations with people you want in your life. What do you think, which points resonate most to you, do you have anything to add that aids healthy communication?

How are you feeling? Really, I mean it, how are yo

How are you feeling?
Really, I mean it, how are you feeling? Because it’s the most important question we can ask, isn’t it? Have you noticed in today’s society how being busy is often a badge of honour, meanwhile emotions are seen as difficult to manage by the logical thinkers. We have been taught to be busy often & feel less, human doings not human beings. This might sound strange to some but I seek the opposite, my goal is to be more & do less. The thing is, when we run from our emotions we are always looking outside of us, constantly chasing & rarely present. A human doing may often appear successful & receive plenty of validation, but I wonder how they actually feel within themselves. So, what I’m interested to know is how someone feels when they stop & listen, when they are alone, when they are simply being? Can I feel their love? Are they happy with how they’re showing up in life? I believe in the power of the lessons that come from these questions, it’s just most of us don’t want to feel them & we rarely feel safe enough or free enough from judgement to share our truth. So I don’t mean to be provocative, or to poke anyone to go to places they don’t want to go. I ask because I want it to be ok to go there - ok to feel pain, ok to feel emptiness, ok to have got it wrong, ok to want to run from it all, you definitely aren’t on your own. I think it’s also important to say that it’s ok to feel joy, when we know so many others are struggling. I’ll share below how I’m feeling today & I’d love to hold a safe space for you too. Every day society teaches us “positive vibes only”, meanwhile how many of us feel really seen & heard? My hope is to change that, in fact it’s one of my great passions in life 🙏🏼❤️.

I’m sure lots of us came into the new year hopin

I’m sure lots of us came into the new year hoping to put 2020 to bed, a fresh start, time for change. Yet here we are, locked down & witnessing all sorts of challenges around the world. There’s little sign that we’ve moved on from 2020, yet. The good news is things can change quickly, whilst I believe a less spoken about, but very relevant challenge, is this; We all have a part of us that wants to express how we truthfully feel, but we also have another part that seeks acceptance & validation - something society has taught us comes from “positive vibes only”. When we deny our true feelings in favour of forced positivity, we also block the opportunity to feel truthfully seen & heard, limiting our chances of experiencing true connection. Instead our emotions remain trapped in our body, an unhealthy outcome for many reasons. I believe in the power of real vibes, meaning we own how we feel in an empowered way through an understanding & acceptance that life will naturally present challenges at times, & that’s ok. Emotions are temporary chemical reactions, we can feel sad because of an external situation we have no control over, it doesn’t make us permanently sad or a sad person. We may not need fixing or sympathy, but just to be heard. When we own our emotions we can feel, express & allow them to dissipate in a healthy way, & open the door to deeper connections. So, if you’re struggling with the weight of the challenges & stresses right now, I want you to know that whatever you feel is absolutely ok. I hear you, your emotions matter & all of them are welcome. It’s why I created Heart Space. In Heart Space the community check-in with their emotions every day without fear of judgement. It creates a beautiful space full of connection that comes alive every week in our live video sessions & exercises. For January, our monthly theme is about “Purpose”, & together we are reading @mattzhaig ‘s incredible book “The Midnight Library”. It’s proving to be a beautiful way to start the year. Founder member benefits run until the beginning of Feb, I’d love those interested to come & be part of something special ☺️. With love, Ben 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩

The new year may be here, but the London skies are

The new year may be here, but the London skies are full of dark & heavy clouds. Rain has been a fairly constant drizzle, the air has been cold, the wind biting. New lockdowns measures have arrived again, many are without a business to run & children to look after, it’s not an easy time at all. With external challenges I turn inward; “who can I be”, “how do I want to live”, or bigger still, “what am I on this planet to do?”. Questions for the soul. For 30 years I didn’t know, so I chose what society showed me. I ticked the boxes & took some pleasure in the applause I received. But something was missing, “was this all life had to give”? There was a scratch I couldn’t itch. 9 years on & I’ve found my way, my purpose has come alive. There was no magic formula that revealed the path, but there were things I did that have helped me on my way. I went from the common path, doing what was expected, onto a more challenging road, a rocky one that wasn’t the vision of anyone but me. There was less validation, less income, but it gave me hope & that was more that what I had ever felt before. Now I find myself leading others, showing them the way. Am I good enough, i’m really not sure, for my mind questions my every move. But my heart, my heart is different, that sings another song. My heart doesn’t play the game of comparison, & it doesn’t judge what is right or wrong. It cares just about my truth & the self-expression of all that is. From there I feel peaceful & present. So it’s my heart that I choose & in @heart_space_community that I venture & play. No goals, no expectations, & even no right or wrong, nothing but a safe space for us all to go on a journey as one. This month we look at purpose, Wade from the @the.ninth.path , a beautiful soul, is helping us all on our way. It’s real & honest, magical & creative, vulnerable & strong - all the things that I truly love. So come & join us if you wish, no pressure & no sell, but a peaceful & empowering space to be seen & heard. I created this platform because it makes my heart sing, perhaps that’s my purpose, perhaps it could be yours too? 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩

As I lay in bed this morning to a new year, this i

As I lay in bed this morning to a new year, this is what flowed for me, I wanted to share ☺️. New year, new me. New changes, new outlook. We hear it every year. But none of us are stuck, trapped or incomplete, we have just learned to live a certain way. We are neither scared or anxious, our mind’s just seek safety and plays with our thoughts. We are not incapable of love, hope or joy, we’ve just buried the energy so deeply within, we’ve forgotten how to hear it. It’s time to reconnect with what has always been ours. So today, this new year, this new beginning, let’s make this our goal: To return back to what has always been our truth; love, kindness, compassion, self-expression and joy. For this is who we were all born to be. It requires vulnerability but we can all make a choice that’s within our control, to let 2021 be the year that we let our hearts win again. That means more gratitude and less comparison. More presence, less thinking. More compassion, less judgement. More sharing, less hiding. More kindness (to ourselves) less bullying (ourselves). More curiosity, less fear. More growth, less fear. More love, less fear. More heart, less ego. Happy new year to all, we’ve got this, we just need to learn to feel it again❤️.

It hasn’t been easy has it? There’s been so mu

It hasn’t been easy has it? There’s been so much uncertainty, new challenges that we’ve never faced before. Yet here we are at the end of a tough year, not only still going but with more resilience to deal with adversity, more strengths that have come out of the challenges. Tomorrow a new chapter begins, sure there are still difficulties ahead, but there is much to celebrate. The world has been forced to come together, we are uniting in many ways. Now is a time to be a collective & celebrate each other more than ever. Less judgement, more love. So as the year comes to end, let’s reflect, I want to hold space to hear what you’re proud of from 2020? What adversity have you overcome, what love have you shown, what small thing mattered so much to you? We are taught to hide our gifts & stay small, but I don’t want to come from fear, I want to celebrate what’s within us all. You are special, you are unique & I want us all to share our gifts, no one better, no one worse - just beautiful individuals doing their best in challenging times 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩
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Ps - I’m going to share a video tomorrow that I’m so proud of, I’m excited to share it #poem 😉

Christmas can be a tricky time, can’t it. Whilst

Christmas can be a tricky time, can’t it. Whilst for some it’s a wonderful time to re-connect with loved ones, for others it can be incredibly lonely. But something that isn’t really discussed is how some of us can be surrounded by family, something that we might crave, yet still find ourselves feeling lonely in their company. In other words, we can be surrounded by people & still feel lonely. They say that London can be an incredibly lonely place to live, everyone is surrounded by people, but how many feel seen & understood? So loneliness isn’t as simple as being alone, it’s about feeling seen for who we really are & understood by those around us. I’ve had my own challenges with this, I’ve grown a lot as a person, & going back to my family for Christmas can bring back past triggers. Those closest to us might not see us as the person we’ve become, they like to keep us as the person they are most familiar with. Perhaps some of you who have also undergone change may resonate with this too? So, I’d like to ask, how has your Christmas been? Have you felt connected & loved, or can you associate with a sense of loneliness despite being with family? In my private community, Heart Space, we grow together whilst being seen, heard & valued by like-minded people. There is no judgement, but a safe space to express all of who we are. Christmas has reminded me even more deeply of it’s importance & value. If you do feel lonely I want you to know you are of value, you are a beautiful and special person, you just may not be surrounded by people who have the skills to see that. That’s not their fault, but that’s a story for another time. With love, Ben 🙏🏼❤️.

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas 🎄 💫❤️

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas 🎄 💫❤️. With all of the challenges going on in the world, I hope the next few days can bring a rest from our thoughts & more connection with our hearts. With lots of love & gratitude, Ben 🙏🏼❤️

It’s been one hell of a year - the crumb of comf

It’s been one hell of a year - the crumb of comfort was meant to be a Christmas with loved ones, yesterday’s news must be heartbreaking for so many. I’m left feeling incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to breathe in the fresh seaside air & to spend time with loved ones, when many others have been denied the chance. I feel your pain, I’m sorry & I hope positive news comes to us all soon 🙏🏼❤️.

I want to let myself be seen because I want to exp

I want to let myself be seen because I want to experience meaningful connections that come from going beneath the surface of who we are. I want to let myself be seen because it always felt like something was missing when I buried my emotions. Funny that... I want to let myself be seen because I used to come from a place of seeking other people’s validation & in doing so I lacked alignment with my truth. It’s hard to love yourself when you show up that way, I learned the hard way. I want to let myself be seen by sharing all of who I am, because no one is perfect - we all have challenges, good days & bad days, they don’t make us a sad or broken person, they make us human. I want to let myself be seen because it’s liberating, I feel alive when I connect with my heart & share my truth. That’s true freedom for me. I want to let myself be seen because wearing a mask & pretending to be something other than myself is heavy, draining & unhealthy. I want to let myself be seen because whilst it can be scary, it opens the door to the most powerful of things - deep, authentic connection. We live in a world that asks us to wear many masks; “stop crying”, “be quiet”, “don’t be silly”, “man up”. I want to move beyond these limitations that unconsciously stifle our authenticity from a young age. I’m here to let myself be seen, to drop the masks & share my heart, because that’s who I believe we all are at our best 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩

#weeklycheckin - how are you feeling? This mornin

#weeklycheckin - how are you feeling? This morning I feel peaceful, I love waking up on a Sunday with a clear day ahead to spend time on me, I’m lucky & its something to truly be grateful for. I’m especially grateful because over the last week, my mind has continued to be active in general. An active mind takes me away from the present moment & disconnects me from my heart. When my thoughts are loud, my heart gets quieter. It’s a little awkward as the theme inside of Heart Space this month is kindness - its challenging to lead when I’m finding it hard to practice myself right now! I feel the energy in London doesn’t help. There is a great rush to keep moving "forward" onto the next thing, & rarely are we encouraged to stop & be truly present. This way of being doesn't make kindness such a natural choice for me, it’s doing from my head, not being in my heart. My aim is to consciously choose to be less in a rush & kinder with my time when I engage with someone, whether that's a stranger or someone I know. I want to mean it when I say hello, or thank you, or ask how someone is? Being present with someone & truly listening to someone is a beautiful gift we often forget. Within the Heart Space community we are sharing how kindness is showing up for us all. For those that are struggling to embrace it, like I am right now, I've invited them to also aim to give more presence to the people that matter to them: Listen to their words, rather than their own thoughts about how to respond, and aim to answer from their heart. Be curious about their life, how they are feeling, what their needs are? Give them time & space to be who they truly are. For me that's kindness at its simplest, but one we often miss in this busy world. I am at my best when I’m being kind. Kind to myself through healthy actions, loving self-talk & kind acts to others. Sometimes it’s hard, the world takes us away from that space, but being kind is our natural state when our fearful mind is quite. I aim to choose love not fear, being kind rather than being cold. That’s me, how are you feeling, are you choosing kindness?
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩

This quote talked to me, does it talk to you? It’s an interesting one because a big part of me didn’t used to want to be kind, it felt it took me away from my desired masculine energy. Society told me I needed to be strong & tough, that meant letting go of sensitivity, & embrace not caring, or allowing myself to feel. The more ruthless & cut-throat I was, the more I felt I would flourish. I grew up hearing phrases like “man up” & “grab the bull by the horns”, I hate to say it now, but my perception was that it was cooler to be the bully than it was to be bullied. The thoughts I had of who I should be, taught me to be who I wasn’t at my core. Just like everyone else, my heart has always been kind & sensitive, I just buried that part of me. The truth is the deepest part of me just wants everyone to be happy, I feel sadness when those close to me are sad too. I believe there are many people that feel the same, but who have learned to toughen up, just like I did. In the last 20 years, neuroscience has started to shift the perception about who we are as humans. For a long time it was more commonly believed that we are predominantly selfish & out for ourselves. Research now shows that kindness runs through our DNA. We are wired to be kind, it’s just our fearful thoughts that tell us to toughen up. I believe to live a fulfilling life we must tune into & behave in alignment with our deepest values - in short that means being kind. In @heart_space_community , this month is focused on kindness. The book club is reading @shahroo_izadi ’s amazing book “The Kindness Method” & we will soon be starting our exercises for the month to practice & grow deeper into the kindness energy within us. Tonight I’ll be going live with the community at 8pm to check-in with how we feel & to talk more about kindness. It’s a beautiful space that is free for all until the end of the year, at which point all current members will receive founder member benefits for life. Now is the time to join. My goal is to create a platform that provides a safe space for all our members to show their hearts without judgement. It’s happening already, I’d love for you to be part of it too 🙏🏼❤️.

I feel overwhelmed by the heavy weight of a long t

I feel overwhelmed by the heavy weight of a long to do list. I feel like everything is on me & there’s always more to do. There are many things that I feel a deep need to follow, where to give my time? I feel frustrated that things aren’t flowing easily at the moment. Everything takes time & energy, yet time & energy is what I am in need of most. Time is a precious commodity. I feel these emotions despite the fact that I am incredibly fortunate. I am safe & my dreams are unfolding, there is so much beauty in my life. Underneath the temporary emotions above, I also feel hugely grateful & on purpose. I am reminding myself to keep playing, life is a game to be played, not a problem to be solved. To keep showing-up & taking action, but also to be kind to myself as I go. My goal right now is to surrender to the present moment & find that healthy balance of my heart’s love & my ego’s safety. So that’s me, life is a constant flow of emotions, I’m grateful to feel them. In @heart_space_community we check-in with our emotions in a safe space every day, it brings so much connection & growth, two powerful things. How are you, what’s within you at the moment? 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @iamjamiejames

I listened to the @takeflightworld podcast with @m

I listened to the @takeflightworld podcast with @markwhittle_tf & @eddiehearn this week & found it fascinating. The mercurial businessman Eddie Hearn talked about how his dream was to stage the biggest boxing events in the world. He soon achieved that by filling Wembley stadium with 90,000 people, in one of the greatest shows boxing has ever seen. It was supposed to be the pinnacle he dreamed of, yet a common story soon unfolded. Once the evening was complete, Eddie didn’t find himself feeling fulfilled. In fact it was an underwhelming experience, it didn’t feel anywhere near as good as he thought it would. I heard @jonnywilkinsonofficial explain the same thing to me about the day after he won the rugby World Cup, @franklampard repeats the message having won the champions league, the list goes on & on. In the western world I grew up in, we are taught from a young age that success lies in achievement. Our brains become trained to seek it from as early as we can remember. From that point onwards we begin a chase for stuff, with a strong belief we will feel fulfilled when we get them. I believe most of us are playing this game of life, having learned the wrong rules. So where does the answer lie? Well we can achieve all we want, to the extent we are the best in the world, but without a deep connection to love for both ourselves & others, then the chase will always continue. To love, we must feel our emotions rather than play it “cool”, we must connect with our heart’s values & not live attached to our thoughts. Unfamiliar stuff perhaps, but as human behaviour researcher @brenebrown points out - we are wired to love, be loved & to belong. I believe it’s vital we learn “success” isn’t the problem, but it’s also not the answer. So I’ll leave you with this, you may have heard it before but not given it the thought it deserves - “love is the answer”, so are you making it your goal?
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Lastly, I want to share that series 3 of @thenakedprofessors_podcast is out now, real conversations with amazing people that come from the heart, about things that matter. Link is in my bio, I’d love to hear your thoughts 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩

@movember 2020 ✅. Whilst I can’t say I’m sad

@movember 2020 ✅. Whilst I can’t say I’m sad to see the Mo’ go, I want to lean into the moment to share the following message: I don’t believe there is such a thing as toxic masculinity, just toxic conditioning. We, as human beings, all have a heart, a soft heart full of love, it’s just we are conditioned to disconnect with that part of us. It happens so early in our lives without our awareness, that we soon believe we are who we’ve learned to be. No one is born toxic, it’s what we see & learn that teaches us toxic behaviour. In the same way, we, as human beings, all have emotions. It’s our conditioning that leads us to become scared to share what we feel (unless it’s anger or lust because our conditioning says they are acceptable emotions). We all have pain & love within us but we learn early that we shouldn’t show either - they make us look weak, & that’s our biggest fear. So I hear it be said that it’s a man’s world, but I can’t agree. It might appear so on the surface, but that’s just an illusion, it’s how we feel that counts. The world loses a man every second to suicide, 3 in every 4 suicides in the UK are men who are in pain. Times are changing, education is becoming more mainstream, but it can’t come quick enough. We need to learn that emotions aren’t weak, & I know it’s a cliche, but love is the answer. It’s a hard message to sell, such is the depth of who we’ve been conditioned to be, but more men are talking, more role models are standing up. So our Mo’s may be done, but the work continues. My hope is that the expectation can change about what a man needs to be. Forget being a man, & aim to be a human; strong, tough & brave but also soft, loving & open. It’s not weak or wrong, it’s who we are as a human being 🙏🏼❤️.

For the first month of Heart Space our personal de

For the first month of Heart Space our personal development theme has been about “Love”. So on tonight’s weekly live, I’ll be on @heart_space_community at 8pm, to talk self-love & to answer any questions from the community. As I discussed on last weeks @thenakedprofessors_podcast , my understanding of self-love didn’t begin until I was 30. Why would it have begun any earlier, no one taught me & the concept of love didn’t interest me deeply enough to want to investigate. Without it, I was constantly chasing a life of quick wins. Since learning of my value (an ongoing practice / game), I aim to make different choices, ones that come from love, not for love. It’s allowed me to become a different person, one who can love & be loved - emotions all humans desire, whether we bury it or not. As always, the answers lie within. There are many obstacles along the way, the goal is to understand ourselves deeply, learn the tools & be brave enough to implement them. Lastly, within the Heart Space community we’ve written self-love letters to ourselves. I’ll be sharing mine this evening alongside anyone else who wants to share their own. Things could get emotional, that’s half the point of it, all emotions are welcome in this safe space ☺️. With love, Ben 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩

I feel as though I’ve grown up in a world that v

I feel as though I’ve grown up in a world that values how we look, more than how we feel. A world that teaches us to care more about likes, than liking ourselves. One that says we must always be positive - we shouldn’t ever have a bad day or feel anything other than happy or angry. I believe all of this leads us to make choices to present a good life externally, ahead of one that feels good internally. With that we have become disconnected. Disconnected to others, but most importantly disconnected to our own hearts & our deepest values. We live with emptiness within, but bury the pain & go in search for more money, holidays, cars etc, thinking they will provide the answers. Since starting this page I’ve seen a community of people come together by showing their hearts. Its been a beautiful thing to watch & It’s led me to feel compelled to create my next chapter - a private, safe platform for like minded people to feel safe enough to reconnect with & express their heart’s emotions. Heart Space @heart_space_community is a members only app to learn & grow alongside like minded people whilst feeling seen, heard & valued. I’ve soft launched it in the last couple of weeks & already it’s lighting up my own heart for so many reasons. Of course I’m biased, but it’s unique, powerful & I’ve never know a space like it. The platform is free for the rest of the year, at which point all members will experience founder member benefits thereafter. My goal is to create a community of people around the world that come from their hearts, to share, grow & value one another. Within Heart Space you’ll experience a safe environment to understand & express your emotions every day. There is a monthly personal development theme & exercises to help you grow, along with weekly live video check-in’s, talks & videos, heart connection meditations, a book club & daily connection with a beautiful, kind, open hearted community. To ensure the space remains a safe one, I ask everyone to show me their heart through a short application process - the link is in my bio. I’d love for you to be part of what is becoming an increasingly beautiful thing 🙏🏼❤️

#weeklycheckin - how do you feel? I feel differen

#weeklycheckin - how do you feel? I feel different things in different parts of my body. I think many of us do, which can make emotions so confusing & conflicting at times: My heart feels open, incredibly open in fact. The community within Heart Space @heart_space_community touch me daily with their honesty, love, kindness & support for one another. It’s a beautiful space that I’m very proud to have created. My heart is full of much love, growth & purpose. My body feels tired, there’s a lot of changes happening in my life & with that I haven't been exercising & moving as much as normal. I feel like stress is having an impact & my body has not felt at it’s healthiest this week. My mind feels busy, there’s a lot of rational thinking & constructive work being done. That naturally brings up some fear at times, I hear it but aim not to embody it when the threat is not real. My mind is also feeling overwhelmed at times, change is a challenge for it to process & surrender to, & my to do list appears never ending at points. Sometimes I want to run away, but I’m aware that won’t serve me deeply, I am attempting to do my best & leave results to be what they will. Easier said than done I know. My goal is to choose the energy of love, self-expression, creativity & purpose that sits in my heart. It allows me to surrender to the present moment & live without fear. But I also recognise that sometimes fear is real & can provide valuable learning. I try to see life as a game, a game with new challenges that most of us aren’t taught the rules to. The game never ends, my goal is to keep up with the rules to play the best I can. Feeling my emotions helps me to do that. I’m grateful for this space to share how I feel. How are you feeling? What do you feel in the different parts of you? With love, Ben 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @flavitoreis

Insta live tomorrow 12pm GMT with @andyramageoffic

Insta live tomorrow 12pm GMT with @andyramageofficial to discuss the role of alcohol, it’s purpose, & pro’s & con’s. Andy changed his own life & has since gone on to change the lives of many many others through @oynb . My relationship with alcohol is similar to Andy’s I believe; I used it as an escape, a form of instant gratification to feel good in a moment. But when I dug deeper into what I really wanted from life, I realised that it wasn’t something that filled me up internally. In my language alcohol gave me short term happiness but no fulfilment. It wasn’t something that gave me any answers, it just allowed me to forget the questions. My journey of growth has led me to a mantra that says “don’t sacrifice what you want most, for what you want now”. Alcohol was often what I wanted now, but it didn’t help me on the path to what I wanted most. My relationship with it now is that I aim to engage with it on my terms. I’ll never drink alcohol because I feel I should, but occasionally I enjoy it when there is something to celebrate. I’ve drunk on a handful of occasions this year, they’ve been fun, but with a healthy state of mind I like to think they could have been just as fun had I drunk water 🤷🏻‍♂️. My reservations lie around the fact that its an unhealthy toxin that our body views as poison. It disrupts my sleep badly, leaves me feeling groggy (at best) the next day & of course it costs a lot of money these days too. For me personally, it rarely adds anything in connection to my deeper values. Whilst I totally appreciate everyone is different, my personal goal is to find people I can have a great time with, without a need for alcohol. I believe that working on our inner state is a harder but ultimately much more fulfilling way of living than consuming quick, short lived things that provide fun, but not fulfilment. Andy’s story & knowledge on this subject means I’m excited to finally connect with him & open up this conversation about alcohol & mental health. I’ll save the conversation on my IGTV after, but I’d love to see you live at 12pm tomorrow 🙏🏼.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🎩

There are many beautiful hearts in the world, in f

There are many beautiful hearts in the world, in fact, I’d say we all have a beautiful heart, it’s just that the society we live in asks us to bury it. I’ve been there, my heart was closed for many years - but I am one of the lucky ones who got shown how to open it again. My ego didn’t want to go through change, it was attached to staying as I was, ticking boxes & with that, gaining validation. On top of that I wasn’t really aware that my heart was closed, my way of being had become so ingrained I thought that was just me. I struggled to love, but I figured I was just being a man 🤷🏻‍♂️! What I now know is that I had disconnected from my heart & that left an emptiness within. It was an emptiness that I wouldn’t be able to fill through parties, buying stuff or any form of instant gratification. I believe many men are living the same way, I don’t blame them, society celebrates what we visibly do, above how we feel internally. We think it’s healthy to always be doing, celebrating ambition & disconnecting to what’s inside. We are unconsciously taught to choose our ego’s greed above our heart’s love. For change to happen I needed to feel safe. That meant a space where I wasn’t judged, but where I could go within & allow myself to feel & express what was inside. I was lucky enough to find that through working with a coach & attending the incredible @men_withoutmasks & @hoffmanprocessuk , powerful spaces where hearts are uncovered. My purpose is now to help others do the same, it’s led me to create @heart_space_community . A platform where people can connect, grow & feel safe to share what’s within. It’s rare in what it offers & it’s free for all of you until the end of the year (link in my bio - put Ben Bidwell as your referral). My goal is to create a community of people across the world who see & feel each others heart’s. I’d love for anyone who seeks deeper connections & a sense of community to be part of it too. Tonight the community go live on zoom for a private group check-in. This month our theme has been about love, so we’ll share what we’ve learned so far about making love a choice, as well as welcoming all emotions.
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