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Ben Bidwell

Ben Bidwell

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Today was so much more than a gym session. After m

Today was so much more than a gym session. After months of sedatory living in the confinement’s of lockdown, there’s been a growing need for me to express the warrior within. Without that expression I’ve not been all of who I can be. The truth inside of me knew this, it built frustration at times, I felt a lack of alignment within. Today was about serving & expressing my healthy masculine energy again. If felt so good, not so much the workout itself, although that was enjoyable, but more the energy that I experienced. There was a determination, a purposeful focus, a presence in that very moment of getting the job done. When complete, I felt a sense of pride, I stood tall, my self talk said “yessss Ben”, it told me I was powerful, that I could achieve so much, there was a sense within that I was back. That’s what exercise gives me, alignment. Thoughts drop away, the relationship with myself builds, nothing matters in that moment other than the task at hand. Inspiration comes, I now feel alive, I feel restored, I feel purposeful, I feel excited, I feel pumped, I feel ready ❤️. 📸- 🙋🏻‍♂️

Here in London lockdown measures lessen to some de

Here in London lockdown measures lessen to some degree today. We hope in the coming months things continue to unravel & we will all find more freedom again. The temptation is to go & chase all the things we’ve missed, but I hope we take some lessons from the last year too. Below are some of the things I want to consciously keep, & some things I want to consciously welcome back into my life: Things I want to keep:
- To continue to embrace & value time to myself, & continue to let go of the perception within society that being busy is a good thing. - Dance parties on my own, in my flat! Because that has increasingly become a source of fun in recent times! Music is magic for me. - Walks - I know some may be bored of them, but for me they are such a beautiful way to have good conversation whilst experiencing the benefits of exercise & nature. Things I welcome back into my life post lockdown:
- The gym & the testosterone energy it creates. I’ve missed environments that allow me to embrace my healthy masculine energy over the past year. The gym is also a space where I get creative & ideas flow. - A few drinks in the sunshine with friends. Because it’s good to play too. - Travel; sunshine, freedom, sandy beaches, summer vibes. - Festivals! I’m so happy that @wildernesshq is back this summer. I hope to be a part of it, TBC... - LAB talks @lawrenceprice_ (watch this space 👀👀) - Time away from screens. I’d say I’ve built an unhealthy relationship with work & my phone over the last year, I get to change that now. I’d love to hear of the things are you keeping & letting go of as you start to come of out of this lockdown period? 🙏🏼❤️

Our thoughts become our words. Our words become ou

Our thoughts become our words. Our words become our actions. Our actions become our habits. Our habits become our character. Our character becomes our destiny. What I’m trying to say is that, without awareness of our thoughts, we aren’t who we consciously choose to be, we are who we’ve learned to be as a result of the thoughts that we have 🤔. Returning to the truth inside of our heart is what doing the inner work is all about. When we feel safe in our environment & our bodies, we uncover the option to choose connection above survival. It leads us to become authentic in our communication, integral in our actions, welcoming of love & free to live a life that feels alive on the inside. So the question we all need to ask ourselves is, if we aren’t choosing love, what is it that’s stopping us from doing so? I ask this question with compassion & to hopefully provoke healthy introspection, not to make anyone right or wrong 🙏🏼❤️. 📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

Question for men - do you want to have better rela

Question for men - do you want to have better relationships both romantically and with friends, better s*x with your partner, be better understood & feel more freedom? Another question for men - do you want to learn to open your hearts & be more connected to your emotions? I ask these questions because I’m guessing most men would answer yes to the first question & no to the second. That was where I was at 10 years ago, I had no interest in becoming emotional or finding more love. For my first 30 years I truly believed I just wasn’t the kind of guy who was emotional or who sought deep, meaningful love. What I was missing & what so many men aren’t realising, is that these two questions are intrinsically related. The work required is the same. Tomorrow (Thursday) evening, 6pm GMT, I’m going live with psychological therapist & sexologist @massimo.stocchi.fontana to talk about how connecting to our hearts & allowing ourselves to experience our emotions (every day) is essential if we want to have better sex, greater intimacy & more fulfilling friendships & relationships. Show me a man who can’t apologise meaningfully, express emotions, have deep gratitude for life, be present in the moment or share their love, & I’ll show you a man who is limiting the relationships & sex life they experience. Intrigued? Come & join us Thursday evening & feel free to ask any questions. Both Massimo & I have lived disconnected to our hearts so there will be no judgement, but hopefully plenty of relatable conversation. Maybe this will be a good one for the women out there to invite your make friends or partners to? 🙏🏼❤️. 📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

Hey team, after a longggg lockdown period, a few c

Hey team, after a longggg lockdown period, a few challenges have come up for me during the last few weeks that have meant my energy hasn’t always flowed. I’m ok with that, there’s been a lot going on outside of my control, I’m not going to judge myself or be fearful of others judgements. That’s because my values lie more strongly in living with a freedom where I can choose to own & share my truth without fear or a need for acceptance. That doesn’t mean drowning in pain or in emotions that are perhaps perceived as negative. It means recognising what I feel & owning what’s within, because that allows space to learn, grow & move forward. In amongst painful emotions also lives an opportunity for us to see one another more intimately. It’s not about leaning heavily on others because you’re in need of saving, but being ok with not being ok & allowing ourselves to share our truth in that moment. That comes from learning that we aren’t what we feel, our emotions don’t define us, we simply experience them for a temporary period. So I’m not here to run or hide, or to moan & be a victim of the world around me. Like many, without education I tried that for much of my life. I now know the limitations that come from being afraid of the dark & numbing my internal world. It limited my experience, stopped me from being free, left me feeling emptiness & prevented deep connections. Sure it meant less judgement, but it had me chasing life & feeling uncomfortable in simply being. Tonight (Monday) 8pm, I’d like to show up & hold space for this beautiful community in a judgement free Insta live. There’s no agenda, just a get together to share & connect. Connection through open communication always warms my heart ☺️. I’m very happy to hold space to hear about what’s going on in your world or to answer any questions that come up. For now, I’m sending you all love, I hope to see & connect with you later🙏🏼❤️. Ps - I continue to be in awe of the work done by @sohappyintown , thank you for sharing this t-shirt 🙏🏼☺️. 📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

Fresh air, the smell of sea salt coming off the st

Fresh air, the smell of sea salt coming off the still, calm waves, presence, no rushing, just being. Just what the doctor ordered. Perfect 👌🏼. Happy Easter my friends 🐣 ❤️

I’m not sure if this a #throwbackthursday or an

I’m not sure if this a #throwbackthursday or an #aprilfools (the joke was surely on me?) - either way what is true is this is how I dressed for school until the age of 13 💁🏻‍♂️! I know what you’re thinking, I was always rocking some great fashion from the word go, right?? 😉🕺🏼. Happy Easter to you all, I hope you have a brilliant long wkd 🙏🏼❤️. 📸 - Mrs.B Ps - I have recently connected with an amazing man @jose_ucar_ who speaks powerfully and beautifully from his heart. Jose is a public speaking coach with an incredibly energy, and it’s my honour to go live with him tonight at 7pm GMT to discuss what it means to speak from our heart? How it’s done? What it brings? And whatever else evolves through a wholehearted conversation! These connections fill me up, I’d love for you to join us 👊🏼.

Comfort zones are funny things aren’t they, on t

Comfort zones are funny things aren’t they, on the one hand they feel comfortable in that moment, but we miss out on our heart’s desire of growth & adventure. If we are disconnected to our heart (like the world teaches us to be) we often choose what we know best, ahead of what truly fulfils us. That can show up in so many ways. Whilst staying safe is valuable, it’s the most basic of human needs, beyond that is where our world comes alive... So what happens in an environment where people can feel so safe that there isn’t such a thing as failure, rejection or embarrassment? What happens if there can be guidance to see fear differently, & a safe space provided to express with a playful freedom? No right or wrong, good or bad, as society would have us believe. Well, I can tell you what happens, because it’s what we did inside @heart_space_community on Monday night. As we stepped beyond our comfort zones smiles broadened, faces came alive, energies rose, joy came in, connection ensued, freedom resulted. It was truly beautiful & inspiring to witness. Swipe right in the pics above to read some of the reviews! I want more people to experience the freedom to express all of who they are. I want more people to feel safe enough to grow & play alongside people who see them. I want to celebrate showing up, above what’s “good” or “bad”, because that’s what brings true freedom. If you’d like to be part of something special, come & join us inside Heart Space! There is a link in my bio - founder member discounts are still in play for a limited time only. With love, Ben 🙏🏼❤️ 📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

It’s been a tough week, in fact it’s beyond th

It’s been a tough week, in fact it’s beyond that, it’s been tough for a while. If I were to read my journal entries over the last few months I wouldn’t be reading much about joy. It’s been a period of time that’s asked for much thinking, & with that, not as much being. It’s not the way I aim to choose to be, but it’s been that kind of time. I find myself frequently asking, am I getting older & more sensitive to the world’s challenges, or is this a world that faces many difficulties? It’s probably both. Either way, what I am clear about is that when our emotions are awakened, there is no hiding anymore. We’ll feel what we feel, & there will be times when challenges arise beyond our control. So behind the scenes I’m a little quieter, practicing my own self-care routines, connecting with the beautiful souls that I value, creating visions for the future that I can control - things that fill me with hope. In the meantime I won’t shy away from how I feel, far from it. Reconnecting to my emotions has been a key part of my journey in letting go of emptiness, & I’ve learned they are what allow me to experience deep love within. My goal today is to show up here with truth & to share some love. Wherever you’re at, however you’re feeling, I’d like to honour you, because we all deserve that, & that creates a healthier world. Which leads me to @heart_space_community - a platform that I’ve noticed is quietly becoming a safe space for empath’s who are alive to what they feel. Our members are full of love & support for one another, it allows them to express all of their truths in a world that asks for positive vibes only. With that, trust & connection grows every day, new friendships develop, & the door is open for judgement free play. If my words resonate with you, you’re welcome to come & join us in Heart Space. Membership is free for two weeks & founder membership benefits still applicable (link in bio). Inside you’ll experience a comfort that allows you to finally be free to express all of your truths without fear of judgement or rejection. Instead, all energy is gratefully received, held & honoured, I’m proud to have created it🙏🏼❤️

In a world that encourages “good vibes only”,

In a world that encourages “good vibes only”, many find it challenging to receive difficult emotions, particularly us men. We like to fix, & if we can’t see a solution to a problem, then it can be hard to know what to say - an uncomfortable experience. Part of us wants to run away from the conversation. So when we ask “how are you”, without knowing how to hold space, it’s easier to receive “I’m fine” than “I’m struggling”. When someone is holding challenging emotions, they often just want to express themselves & to simply be heard, rather than fixed, challenged, or judged. As a society we have become bad at holding space for others. I say that without blame, we aren’t taught the skills. However this is something we can all learn, & I believe doing so will contribute to a collective greater good. Holding space is about providing the comfort for the person you are with to feel safe enough to express their truth. It starts by listening without judgement, letting all emotions be welcome & heard. From there it’s about not trying to fix the problem (unless they ask), but to stay in the space to listen to them without expressing discomfort, making it about you or changing the subject. Instead you are required to simply listen & to gently let them know you are listening if that feels right. There is a real need for us to hold space & truly hear one another to allow for more understanding. It’s a vital part of building trust & connection, something that i believe is not being fulfilled within our society🙏🏼❤️.
📸 @paulnelsonphotos
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Ps - I am live on @heart_space_community tonight at 8pm GMT with the incredible @tigmonk81 to talk about how to overcome our fears. We’d love to see you there and to answer any questions you may have.

It was emotional to visit the tributes to #sarahev

It was emotional to visit the tributes to #saraheverard today. In amongst so many beautiful messages this one stood out for me. I don’t see this as an attack on men, but a greater understanding of how women feel 🙏🏼❤️

Shared with love, hope & determination for a bette

Shared with love, hope & determination for a better future 🙏🏼❤️

It was beautiful to spend the day celebrating my m

It was beautiful to spend the day celebrating my mum with my mum today. She looked at this photo & said “why am I so small!” 🤷🏻‍♂️😂. Make no mistake though, she’s the boss 🙅🏼‍♀️. Happy Mother’s Day to a true superstar, the woman who showed me the power & beauty of unconditional love. Without her showing me how I would be half the man, because the truly healthy masculine needs the flow of the feminine. For all the mums out there, I see you giving so much tireless energy that comes from pure love. I hope you are being appreciated for all that you give. For those of you unable to celebrate your mums today, I’m sending you love, I promise to honour your mums by giving my mum as much love & appreciation (with a little bit of teasing thrown in too 😉) as I can❤️. Ps - I’m going live tonight at 8pm with James @thehonestbloke to share & discuss what we are learning at the moment, answer any questions & hold space for the conversation to go wherever it’s meant to. Pps - I’m really proud & happy to share I have a podcast with my mum out now. In the episode I get to celebrate her as a woman & a mum, & we dive deeper into our mother - son relationship. If you’d like to listen, the link is in my bio, or swipe up on my stories 🙏🏼.

The horrific & uncomfortable truth around Sarah Ev

The horrific & uncomfortable truth around Sarah Everard’s death is that this is a repeated pattern that has happened time & time again. Men causing destruction. In recent days I’m hearing about how sexual harassment is not reported in the office because it’s unlikely to be heard, or even worse is turned on it’s head and becomes the woman’s problem. I’ve read about how another woman was sexually abused on the same evening, in the same park as Sarah, but she wasn’t going to report it, because, what would be done? I’m ashamed to say how naïve I’ve been as to how unsafe women feel in the world we live in. I also can’t sit here & deny my privilege, I haven’t suffered like many women do because of men. I can’t put myself into the pain & fear women experience, without justice ever being served. What I hope I can do, is to be on board for positive change. Men, change has to come from us. I know there are many good men out there, but collectively we must take responsibility to rewire harmful programming. This is deep deep work, it can be challenging & uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. We can hold each other accountable, we can be interested in being a better man, we can be brave enough to accept our imperfections & work on them, we can be interested & committed to want women to feel more safe 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @vicky_chilten_photography

The more I learn & grow, the more days like intern

The more I learn & grow, the more days like international women’s day matter to me. So I’ve done my best to share some words below that reflect the beliefs I have. I hope they do justice to those (men or women) who read them: I believe it’s time to place less emphasis on traditional “visible” models of power that have become inherently attuned to the values of the masculine energy. The ones that are purely about doing, & miss what’s within. I believe we need more women & feminine energy in leadership roles to bring greater connection & harmony to a world that is often driven by fear & greed. A fear & greed that causes a breakdown in trust, unity & love. I believe men have been taught to suppress our own feminine energy, leading us to value more of what we can see, & less of what we can feel. I believe it comes at the detriment of our own mental health & we pass our wounds on to others; hurt people hurt people, many women’s (& men’s) voice’s have been repressed as a result. I believe the time is here for us all to continue on the shift that is going on by choosing to “woman up”. I say so, not at the expense of the healthy masculine energy, but alongside it, in unison, a team that empowers & values one another for the strength each brings. I believe it’s time to celebrate what gives us life as a human being❤️.

#throwback about 15 years to when I really struggl

#throwback about 15 years to when I really struggled to smile, even when I was sat next to one of the greatest women who ever lived, my grandma - the woman who showed my mum the power & beauty of the feminine energy ❤️

I’d like to express where I’m at, a sharing of

I’d like to express where I’m at, a sharing of my truth, an offloading of emotions onto paper. I feel in need of letting go, my internal dialogue has been noisy, it feels threatened in some capacity & with that it seeks answers. As my mind ticks, I lose touch with flow. Anxious, my mood is impacted, it’s harder to simply be. In this space I can go in different directions. The easy route is to escape through quick fixes, they can make me feel something other than what hurts currently. Alternatively I can hide, go into my shell & let the emotions overwhelm me. Here it’s easy to wallow in pity & carry the feelings with me through self-inducing & repetitively negative self talk. Or I can put on a mask, smile, pretend all is great, perhaps even force laughter because I don’t want others to see my pain. Or I can get to where I aim to be now; acknowledge the challenge, feel the emotion, put pen to paper, move my body, have real conversations with people who matter, & allow the emotions to be felt & expressed. From there I can welcome the arrival of easier thoughts, safe in the knowledge that I’m not defined by what I feel. The emotions will soon pass, better days will unfold. And with that choice I welcome peace, a settling into the present moment. What will be, will be, I trust in the process, grateful to experience the highs & lows of a real life ❤️.
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📸 @iamjamiejames

I remember the nerves that used to come alive befo

I remember the nerves that used to come alive before going on stage to deliver a talk at a live event. I remember the energy rushing through my veins that came from pushing myself beyond what was comfortable when in the gym. Moments that were uncomfortable at the time, but, wow, I felt alive when they were done. I’ve missed those times during lockdown. During the last year or so, there have been challenges of course, but on the whole, I’ve had 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in a comfort environment. There have been few moments where I’ve been able to test myself & step beyond fear. Less opportunities to express the masculine energy within me, less adrenaline rushes, less growth. It’s become a frustration to me, life has been comfortable but lacked inspiration at times. Getting in the sea today gave me a rush again 🥶. I didn’t want to do it, especially in the moments of undressing & walking towards the sea, but the feeling of accomplishment & overcoming a challenge has stuck with me since. However uncomfortable in the moment, there’s so much growth in accomplishment. The month of March inside Heart Space is about getting out of our comfort zone alongside our continual emotional growth. It might be uncomfortable at times, but together we’ll push boundaries & that will be a beautiful experience,bring on more of the same 👀😳🙌🏼

There’s a voice in my head that’s clear in its

There’s a voice in my head that’s clear in its message, “you’re not good enough & you must do more”, “oh & don’t let anyone know this is what you think, this is between just me & you”. It’s a voice that is rarely satisfied, & in those fleeting moments that it’s happy, it doesn’t last for long. The harsh voice is soon back, “onto the next thing, there’s more sh*t to do”. When I engage with this message by entertaining its doubts, it sends fear into my body. It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I learned that this is what they call anxiety. An anxious me connects even more strongly with the fearful voice, a viscous cycle can ensue; more doubts, less peace, more doubts, less peace. In this space I’m living in fear, it’s tough to be present in the moment; I’m too busy listening to what’s going on in my head. I share this dialogue in partnership with @gilletteuk who ask me what it means to put my best face forward. That’s an easy one for me to answer now, because I’m very clear that my best face is the one that comes from love. When I come from love the energy is different, there is an inner peace & calm within, & without fear I am free to be my truth. It’s liberating & authentic, it’s where I form my best relationships. Gillette are putting their best face forward too through their drive for sustainability, with their newly upgraded razors coming in fully recyclable packaging. It’s my pleasure to work with them 🙏🏼 #ad #BestFaceForward
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

From my experience & understanding, a life without

From my experience & understanding, a life without meaningful connection is a life that will always have us chasing. Without connection there is an emptiness that leads us to go in search of quick fixes, things or experiences that temporarily provide fleeting moments of happiness, but also things that often don’t serve our greater health & that can’t truly fill the void that exists as a result of a lack of connection. It’s for this reason that we have focused on connection inside of the Heart Space community over the month of February. That’s meant we’ve held a space to allow everyone to experience connection through talks & awareness around concepts such as speaking your truth & non-violent communication, as well as exercises that have allowed the community to see one another more fully. Lastly we’ve collectively read a book called “Together” that provides incredible insights into the loneliness & connection, through that we’ve learned that loneliness can occur in multiple ways & its impact on our health is quite astonishing (research suggests worse than smoking 15 cigarettes a day). As humans we are wired for connection, it’s just we aren’t educated on how to bring it alive with meaning & impact. We listen to respond not to truly hear someone. We seek love deep down but on the surface we don’t want to let people in. The goal within Heart Space this month (and every month really) has been to create a space that allows for that to happen, it’s been uncomfortable at times, but always a positive result in the end. I’d love to invite any of the @heart_space_community to share any experiences in the comments below on what they’ve learned about connection through this month? And lastly, we are still running 50% off subscription (for life) for a limited period. So if you’re looking to expand your emotional intelligence & experience deeper connections with both yourself & like minded people then we’d love for you to come & join us, the link is in my bio 🙏🏼❤️.
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📸 @paulnelsonphotos 🪄

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